Fall leaves trying to hang on…..
Little D trying to grab winter by the hand, begging it to stay….
He will be SO happy when he wakes up to the foot of snow we are currently getting.
Welcome winter.
And I love his winter hat with Yu-Gi-Oh on it. And I love his big winter gloves with the blue stripe that are all fuzzy inside. And I love when he comes home from school and chases me around the dining room table until I can’t catch my breath so I hide under it and he pretends he can’t find me so I put my hands over my mouth and giggle. And I love it when he is looking away and I run as fast as I can, squealing to the front hall closet and close the door on myself and laugh and laugh until he finds me and growls like a monster. And I love it when he revs up my trucks and cars and sends them flying under the baby gate and down the stairs to the rec room. And you should see how much trucks we have down “thewre.”
And I love it when he follows me up the stairs to the bedrooms and we play in the hall on the carpet. And sometimes we just lie on our tummies, bouncing our toes and playing footsies. And sometimes I leap at him and he hugs me tight and wrestles with me until Mommy says, “somebody is going to get hurt!” He makes me laugh so hard; big belly laughs and screams of giggles. And he sneaks up on me too and scares me with a big “Boo!”
And I love when he sits with me on the couch under the big blue wool blankie and he reads me stories. And he lets me rip the pages if I feel like it too. And he does funny voices and makes the sounds of the animals. And sometimes we colour at the table together too. And he always tells me not to eat the crayons but I love to taste them anyway.
And at dinnertime, he smiles at me, and makes me laugh. And we both like pickles. And when I throw my food on the floor, he laughs so hard. And one time I threw mashed potato at the wall and he fell off his chair from laughing. And you shoulda seen my big brudders face. And you should also see his face when I am poopy. He makes a face like this:
And you know what else? He has a “fiss” in his room and I love to go in there and look at it. It swims all over and it’s very blue and pretty. And his room is way cooler than mine but Mommy and Daddy won’t let me play in it without one of them.
And he is the bestest brudder in the whole world. And I love him.
So every week or so, I take Troll Baby’s wicker basket full of toys down to the basement and trade off with other toys, so his constantly churning mind does not fall into Boredomland. He loves when I do this, and I love the freedom to surf the net for longer periods of time. That, and you know, PEE without him smashing the bathroom door in with his axe. “Heeeeerrrreee’s Johnny!!”
Today I decided to multitask and I grabbed a ziplock bag of steaks outta the freezer, threw them on top of the basket and headed upstairs to find the Troll, once again, offering open-mouthed kisses to one end of Ruffy or another. I remembered that I had left the coffee pot on and hiked over the baby gate to take care of it. I got sidetracked with cleaning up the breakfast dishes and thinking about Dylan’s first day back to school after being sick….
Then I saw him. Troll Baby was sucking on frozen steak in the livingroom. He looked at me like a rabid dog. Would he willingly let me take the meat from his jowels without me losing an appendage?
Sortof. Now I can only hear out of one ear. EXCELLENT.
…….by the fact that my site was searched on MSN with the following keywords:
Um yeah. Whatever Trevor.
Last night Mista T woke up at 11 p.m. He was inconsolable for some time so Big D went to get him. After several attempts to get him back to sleep, we opted for the bad parenting decision and brought him downstairs to where we were flipping through channels.
The little man squirmed and fussed, crying out every so often as we desperately tried to find the off switch. He sprawled out on Big D or myself, letting us place warm hands on his belly (we NEVER rule out gas with this kid), but within a few minutes he was screaming again, flopping around and unable to get comfortable.
After going back and forth between Big D and I, Mista T finally sat up, looked at me, and said, “Gooble hat buttie vaf!”
Trying not to laugh at his little attempt at language (it is so cute I wish I could bottle it and drink it in my coffee - or with strong strong liquor), I did what every good mother would do and said, “I had one too but the wheels fell off!”
He smiled. Then he crawled into Big D’s lap and let out a fart so big, the house shook.
Big D looked at me and we both giggled like 4 year olds. “How did you do that?” he asked me.
“Karma at it’s best Daddy-O! This is for all the times you gave me a dutch oven!”
Mista T slept through the rest of the night.
“Six of our neighbours within view of our house have their Christmas lights up.”
“So stay in the house.”
“Well aren’t you going to put some new lights up this year?”
“New lights? We bought new lights last year.”
“No. YOU bought new lights last year.”
“You don’t like them?”
“Not so much.”
“Why? Those lights cost me $70 dollars!”
“Tickets to Celine Dion cost more than that.”
“I hate Celine Dion.”
“Then why must our house look like a casino at Christmas?”
“I’ll go to Canadian Tire on the way home from work tomorrow.”
“I love you.”
“Where does my heart beat now?” (it’s a Celine Dion song title)
“In your pants.”
Now THIS is what Big D HAS TO DO because I totally want it done!
“Isn’t it about time you turned off the No-friend-o?”
“Mooooooommmm….it’s called Nintendo.”
The date never happened. Poor Little D sounds as though he smoked 4 packs of cigarettes and we decided not to go out. He even missed his hockey game and his power-skating lesson. Instead, we rented a few movies (for all of us) and video games (for him, not us) and we’ve been sitting around in our pyjamas since late yesterday afternoon. Last night was a viewing of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith and I fell asleep. Missed it completely. It was interesting, but my eyes were heavy so I conked out while Big D watched it alone. Some date.
This morning we watched the Tim Burton version of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, drinking coffee with butter caramel creamer (my latest sin that I can’t live without). We watched Mista T dance along with the Oompa Loompas and attack the dog with his tongue. Nothing like hacking up Ruffy’s undercoat later little man. He runs at her while she sleeps soundly on the couch, and gives her huge, wet, open mouthed kisses. Course, she’s been known to do it back. Mmmm mmmm, doggie goodness.
I also rented “Born Into Brothels” for myself to watch after DHB (Desperate Housebitches) as Daren so lovingly calls them). This Academy Award Winning film is about the children of prostitutes in Calcutta. From what I know, the people filming the documentary taught these children photography and got to see their lives, through their perspective. I love movies like this.
Well I’m off to get these lovely children some lunch. Then it’s nappy-poo for Mista T. Literally, I’m sure. Have a wonderful Sunday!
“Don’t throw that from your tray; that’s PERFECTLY GOOD BOLOGNA.”
Blech. Holy oxymoron Batman.
Tonight Big D and I are hopefully going on a date. That is if we can get a sitter. That is if he will wake up and call his parents. The coffee is just not working for him this morning. He was out last night until 3 a.m., playing poker.
Now I’m not the nagging kind of wife that still put the kibosh on this sort of thing. Actually I welcome it. It means I can surf the web, watch t.v. and be on the phone all evening without feeling any sort of guilt. Plus he won $180. There will be no kiboshing of the poker. Ever!
Anyway, I hope to get him to buy me some dinner and take me to see Derailed. He says it won’t be good because Jennifer Aniston is in it, and according to him she sucks the big green weiner. I think it looks like a great thriller, plus I’m SO on Team Aniston it’s not funny. Team Jolie can SUCK IT!
More than the dinner and the movie, I’m SO looking forward to getting far far away from my children. I NEED A BREAK. They have been choking me for days and I want to love them again, so I need to miss them, even just a little.
In the last 24 hours the following has taken place:
Little D:
Gotten a cough
Whined CONSTANTLY
Fought with his baby brother
Complained about pretty much everything
Fought with me
Fought with Daddy
Hogged the t.v.
Acted like a 2 year old
Mista T:
Pooped
Fought with me
Pooped
Whined CONSTANTLY
Pooped
Fought with Little D
Pooped
Fought with Daddy
Pooped
Prevented Daddy from eating his fajita dinner with both hands last night
Pooped
If you’re keeping track, Mista T has pooped SIX GODDAMN TIMES in a 24 hour period.
And because Gramma and Papa produced the man that passed the Poop Trait down to our youngest son, they must now pay the piper. PLEASE?????
Feed Yourself Sugarpants!
