Men: Not just for breakfast anymore
January 15, 2006
****WARNING: Insignificant and Small Desperate Housewives Tidbit Enclosed - if you haven’t seen tonight’s episode, you may not want to proceed - but it is really stupid and little, I promise. It won’t really spoil everything for you. Not your show, not your life, not your milk, nor your dinner. I swear.****
Too often, I see sitcoms, movies and commercials where the men are portrayed as complete idiots, especially when it comes to domestic chores and child rearing. It irks me to no end.
Everybody Loves Raymond? Everybody does not love Raymond, least of all my husband and I. Raymond is a fucking moron. Poor Debra tires of her own voice, since she must nag the shit out of him while he sits on his ass watching sports, or fucking up something simple, like say, cutting the cord from his mother. I’m sure there are still (cave)men out there that act like they are helpless, and perhaps they are, because their own parents never gave them the life skills needed to survive with or without a partner. And who gets to be the bad guy? The wife. Not cool. I know there are many women out there who married a child and have had to train them to be a man, or parent them.
As I write this, my husband is *gasp* folding laundry. He is doing this WITHOUT BEING ASKED. How sweet is that? If you’re a husband and you’re reading this, let me just say that this teamwork thing, fella, is ROMANCE. This will get you Scooby Snacks galore. For those of you who are not familiar with this term, what rhymes with Scoobies?
I didn’t teach Daren this teamwork thing. His parents did. He was also smart enough to live on his own before settling down to marry. There is a lot that can be said for a guy who knows how to take care of a household alone.
In fact, my own mother did such a shitty job teaching me anything, that Daren was the one who taught me to cook. I was surviving on Pop Tarts and Kraft Dinner before I met him. Which begs another question: if I was living on carbs back then, weighing in at a measly 118 pounds, how the hell did my ass get so big now that I’m eating healthier? Riiiight…… children.
Anyhoooo…..
Some of those commercials out there are the worst. Consider the one for a certain cleaning product where they are showing the different messes that the product can clean up, and the very last mess is “Dad’s Spaghetti Night.” Okay Dad’s Spaghetti Night looks like a bloody massacre. There is sauce everywhere - including the wall….not just the usual splotches and droplets, but we’re talking Dad dove into the spaghetti and did flutterkicks on his belly. COME ON. No one makes that kind of mess. Or how about the dorky dad who quickly and easily makes some packaged dinner and the kids are amazed that dad can “cook.” Yeah, Dad heated up some processed shit and it tastes great. It probably has 4568 milligrams of sodium! Fortunately, my boys are growing up and seeing that both Mommy and Daddy can cook and that we work together to get things done.
My husband is amazing. He’s part of a team. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, handles yard work, and plants an enormous veggie garden every year. He takes as much pride in our home as I do. More importantly, he is an amazing father. He’s involved with every aspect of our children’s lives and is the best role model they have. He is a real man. None of this “Honey, could you do everything for me because I’m just a helpless man?” On top of all of that, he is a supportive and attentive husband. Amazing, I tell you. Amazing Amazing Amazing.
Even tonight, Desperate Housewives’ storyline showed Tom feeling ‘less of a man’ because Lynette now earns the money, while he takes care of the kids, and at the end of the show, he struggles with the thoughts that a vasectomy would be taking the last of what makes him a man. He is near tears when he proclaims that he isn’t happy. Earlier in the show, he is whining and acting like a child while Lynette dotes on him. Why can’t they show Tom as being the proud stay at home dad, who is capable and confident? I was really rooting for his success when he made the rash decision to stay home.
These sterotypes have got to go. In my eyes, a man is someone who grows up, take accountability for his actions, and is a team member, should he decide to settle down with a a partner. A father is a man who teaches his kids to do the same, both by guiding and by setting an example. Sure, we’re whiny and lean on each other once in a while, but we stand together as a team in every aspect.
Thanks Daren, for being exactly who you are. I love you with everything I’ve got.
May 7th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
[...] Speaking of losing weight, I’ve been following a blog, Morphing Into Mama and reader’s reaction to her post, False Advertising, and her follow up to clarify. While I agree that spouses should be concerned with each other’s health, and mental health, if my husband bawked at any physical change in me, whether it be weight, hair colour, hair length, whatever, I would be shocked. Fact is, he has loved me through all kinds of hair cuts, weights, everything. I’ve loved him through his hair receeding, through career changes, and weight fluctuations. Not only that, he, like most men, is no idiot. As much attention as this discussion has gotten, I have to say I’m amazed that it’s even an issue. Marriages that can survive and thrive through crisis and tragedy can certainly survive and thrive through superficial changes. Gimmie a break. [...]
May 7th, 2006 at 6:12 pm
[...] 5) T.V that dipicts men as idiots. (You know this) [...]
June 1st, 2006 at 12:21 am
[...] If there is one thing about Daren, he sees good parenting as something to be proud of, and would never stand for being told he is babysitting, or that he is being a Mommy. To him, it’s all encompassed parenting, and gender doesn’t matter. He would tell you the same thing. He is proud to be involved in more than sidelines, crazy glue and hockey stick handling. He has seen his fair share of tears, bedwetting, and storybooks. He gets pissed off when he sees a restaurant only has a change table in the women’s washroom. He’s equally pissed when men are portrayed as inept fathers on television. I love him for all his parenting passion, and he makes me so proud. [...]
July 12th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
Your husband is a rarity. Even the best men who are willing to watch their kids and change diapers are still rather hapless at it, and 90 percent of them, even if they CAN cook, will expect a woman to do it for them most of the time. And they all expect a woman to clean up after them. Every woman I know who is married with kids considers her husband to be an additional child.