tidbits
January 31, 2006
My dog is highly neurotic and weird. I think I’ve told you before about her musical abilities where she meows, twitters like a bird, and does the usual howling and barking thing. Oh and the constant need to be at Daren’s crotch the entire time he is home. It’s kind of hard for him to walk around with an 80lb dog between his legs, but it’s been 4 years, I’m thinking he’s managing okay. Kind of hard. *snort*
Sorry. Ahem.
She is also a sexual voyeur. Well maybe in the audio sense. An audyeur? When we go to bed, she curls up on her hand-woven mat, and waits to hear if hubby and I are going to, well, you know. She likes to stay there and listen to the show, then she retires to the couch. It’s like clockwork. We’ll start to fall asleep and she drags her ass out of the room. “G’night bitch!” Daren says, lovingly of course. Uhh to her, not me. She is his favorite crotchrocket.
It doesn’t really bother me too much because we can’t see her and she usually doesn’t move at all. But a few nights she has stunk up the room with her Iam’s farty fart bum farts or she’ll let out these weird sighs, low and grunting-like, like a hippo giving birth. Kinda puts a damper on things. So we’ve started locking her ass out of the bedroom. Now we hear the muffled hippo-dog sighs from the hallway as she slumps into our door. Attention whore, I tell you!
