The Post In Which I am Stark-Raving Pissed Right Off
July 24, 2006
Recently I stumbled across a site that is the epitomy of jeaously, insecurity, and outright malice. Someone has created a site on blogspot that talks about Dooce.
Our Dooce.
The mommyblogger I started reading over two years ago when I was pregnant with Thomas. The Dooce that blogged about her post-partum depression, enabling me to realize, months later, that I was suffering from the very same affliction. I thought of her as I was driving with a hysterical Thomas on a highway, and thought, “If I just turn the wheel, I can make this all go away.” I got help because of Dooce.
And just so you know, I’m not writing this to get attention from Heather. She knows how I feel about her. She knows she helped me save my life. She knows she has been quite a delivery of humour, snark, sarcasm and understanding to young mothers everywhere in blogland.
I’m PISSED OFF. I’ve seen people express their dislike for Dooce before, and they have a right to say that they don’t like the site, or they don’t understand the attraction. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But in this case, it’s hateful, toxic words, and this person has a knowledge of mommybloggers to the point that I almost think she is pretty close to us. She (I’m assuming) talks about how the mommybloggers are getting paid now by ClubMom and others and how their paid gigs aren’t nearly as good as their regular blogs. I don’t have any idea who this person is, but obviously she (or he) is watching the mommyblogging world.
If she is one of the mommybloggers, I’m really sad that she decided not to support one of our own. And by sad, I mean pitifully sad.
Makes me wonder.
How could someone be so hateful to twist Heather’s words into attempts to increase blog traffic? How could anyone say that Heather sharing her recent cancer story is something she did for attention? Since as far back as I can remember, Heather has been candid, and openly shared alot about herself, her thoughts, her feelings and her family. That’s her gig. She enjoys writing about her life and obviously alot of people enjoy reading about it.
I know that the little bit of negative email I have gotten over the past couple of years has stung, and I can’t imagine the shit that gets thrown at the Armstrongs. I hope that these kinds of things will never stop them from writing whatever they want to write. I sure as hell will never let it stop me. I don’t normally give any attention to people like this, but this one really got me steaming.
So to whatever coward is writing that shit on blogspot, fuck you. Obviously you are a) jealous; b) insecure; c) not afraid of Karma; and/or d) a childish mess of a waste of life. Grow up and get a life.
July 24th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
i bet you are right too, I bet it is just attempt to boost traffic and someone is jealous of her fame.
It’s too bad. She opened it up for all of us.
July 24th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
That was sort of unclear - I mean Heather helped open the door to let us all be real and honest.
July 24th, 2006 at 4:57 pm
Well personally, if I don’t like someone or their blog, I just don’t read it. So for this person to create a site just to bash Dooce, seems ridiculous to me. To each their own I guess but really, it seems pointless and childish. I smell jealousy.
July 24th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
Oh I also wanted to say, why is this person doing it by hiding? Why not come out and say who you are? If you’re gonna bash someone, may as well do it out in the open and not in a cowardly way.
July 24th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
Pathetic. I refuse to even click.
July 24th, 2006 at 5:44 pm
I have to admit that I agree with quite a few of this blogger’s points about Dooce. I like Dooce OK, but I’ve never understood why so many people see her as some sort of god.
That being said, I agree with Sassy that it seems like a waste of time and energy to actually devote a blog to someone whom you don’t really like.
July 24th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
I’ve decided this just means that Dooce is HUGE. So huge, that even total morons are trying to get famous and or rich and or attention off her coat tails. Seriously, if this person had any balls…like they try to have by dissing her, they wouldn’t be so annon.
No balls. No brains. Just jealous and evil bitching. Aimed at one person. That’s so not cool.
July 24th, 2006 at 6:14 pm
So, a few things that will likely get me shot at, but bear with me.
What she says is hurtful and mean-spirited and wholly unfair. I like Dooce. I read Dooce. I comment there and thoroughly enjoy her.
However, for the sake of being a devil’s advocate, I will say that I don’t think the person really had any choice but to be anonymous, as she’d been ripped limb from limb, perhaps rightfully so. So let’s all be honest that doing what she’s doing is cowardly, but that anyone wanting to say/do such things in a critical light would most likely have no choice but to be so.
I also find it interesting that she fully cops to being jealous and fascinated by the phenomenon, and that jealousy is the root of all of her ramblings. That’s more honest than a lot of us are in similar circumstances. Since Dooce is unique in that she doesn’t interact with other bloggers, for the most part, and doesn’t use it the same way many of us do (for community), it IS curious to me as to why she is so beloved, and I do wonder whether those who call themselves out to her are simply doing it for traffic/attention at this stage. Yes, she s helped a lot of people, yes, she s a brilliant writer, but I do not believe that all, or even most, of her admirers are genuine. (I am NOT calling you out here at all, not even for this post, just making a larger point.)
And lastly, he or she raises some good questions, albeit in a tactless way, about the blogging “movement.” Any blogger who has ads and/or is using blogging to get to greener pastures (me included, I’m not holier than thou!), must admit to a certain exploitative nature of themselves, their families and others. Dooce just happens to be the largest, most well-known case study to hold up for consideration. How far is too far when exploiting your personal life for financial and personal gain?
Do I agree with attacking Dooce this way? No. She’s a person, and a nice one at that. Do I think a single inch of what the person said about her family was warranted? No. In fact, it s pretty rank of her.
But to a certain degree, when you put yourself in the public eye to say whatever you want about people in your own context, I expect - and I think Dooce expects - a certain degree of backlash, which, in this case, can be considered flattery (the writer is jealous! And *admits* that s why she s lashing out this way). Dooce is a brilliant writer and an excellent person - but she is also a savvy marketer.
Again, I think the whole idea of devoting an inordinate amount of time/energy to smashing one person is heinous but the very fact that this site exists raises some interesting questions about the community at large.
July 24th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
I don’t see her as some sort of God, Whitters. That’s just it - I see her as a fellow Mom. SHe is a person, just like you and I. I can relate to her and that is why I read her site. If this person clearly hates her so much, then why read her site? It’s pretty obvious that this person reads her site - he/she/it has quoted from it. Obviously obsessed. Pathetic.
July 24th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
God, I really went off. Sorry. I took it to a whole new level, AND, I may have unfairly assumed that the writer of that blog is a woman. But you know, how often do you see men being so mean-spirited and shitty to such an obsessive degree?
And in the backpedaling department, I’d like to clarify that by “why she is so beloved,” I did not mean “because she doesn’t deserve it,” I meant, “why so many put themselves in front of her for attention” to which the answer, I believe, is personal gain and the almighty traffic.
July 24th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
I don’t want to click either. I don’t understand people like this, and “tearfree,” and those with so much negative energy that they put it into simply attacking people who have done no personal harm to them. I always imagine what could happen if all that time and energy went into writing to our senators, or the president, or starting a worthy organization, or protesting mercury dumping…
July 24th, 2006 at 6:31 pm
It’s okay Jonniker - I like the fact you were so honest, even though I disagree with the write of this awful blog. I can’t tell you why Dooce doesn’t interact with other bloggers.
I think this may grow into quite the discussion.
Also, I find it even worse that this person says on her site that she will delete comments. That is the ultimate low for me. I’ve only ever had to delete two comments, with the exception of spam. One was edited to remove my city, the other was a horrible comment left by an anonymous person, who I think might have been my own father. Nice eh?
As for Heather, she is very much a person, and I know that if someone took the time to create such a website about me, I would be hurt. Yes, she puts it all out there, but is there no humanity left in the world? Why do people feel the need to rip each other apart? Look at Britney Spears, for a crappy example. She is just trying to live her life, and yes, she puts it out there, but at the same time, she isn’t safe from critism. I guess no one is.
I think the whole thing really got me because this person clearly knows alot about the mommyblogging “world,” and I can’t help but be wary that there is a snake in the grass. Or whatever that saying is. It just stinks to me, is all.
July 24th, 2006 at 6:37 pm
Karen -
I’ll explain more later (have class!), but I’m afraid you misunderstood me (or likely, I wasn’t clear) I wasn’t analyzing WHY Dooce doesn’t respond to comments, or anything related to Dooce personally at all - just looking at the phenomenon of SuperBloggers. Of course I disagree with the site and what it’s saying and how it’s doing it. But the mere fact that it exists raises some questions about blogging for me. Which is what I was saying.
Phew. More later.
July 24th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
Why would one even bother? I’ve got WAY too much to do to.
July 24th, 2006 at 11:17 pm
God…there’s a lot of shit written on that blog. Someone, whoever they are, has some really, REALLY strong feelings about Dooce, which is strikes me as very odd.
In any case, I hope Heather blows it off along with all the other haters. It’s not worth her energy because really, no matter how hard you try, you can never please everyone.
July 24th, 2006 at 11:45 pm
I think that person has waaaay too much time on their hands. If I start to HATE another blogger… I click away and move on… lordy but this person doesn’t get that… it’s sad. I can’t imagine putting so much effort into describing why you DON’T like someone….
July 25th, 2006 at 3:05 am
this is an appalling case of obvious jelaousy and envy. there are probably lost of people with less traffic who say things that lots of people disagree with. it makes me so angry i can barely type. she is a HUMAN BEING not just an invisible typist. and a fantastic human being at that. anyone who wants to discuss it can email me.
ARGH!
July 25th, 2006 at 3:07 am
and heather clearly cannot interact at the same level we can. she gets wacknuts and weirdos emailing her and the number of comments alone would make it impossible. why can’t we be more fucking gentle with our fellow women? argh. again.
July 25th, 2006 at 3:15 am
i couldn’t help it, i left a raft of comments. most of which will be deleted ASAP i am sure.
July 25th, 2006 at 8:34 am
I left a comment but I am now boycotting the site. That was ludicrous.
It’s just so parasitic, to seek some degree of pathetic success by attacking someone as a mother. The basest from of cruelty and stalking. Let’s not give them any more attention ever. Heather is clearly a loving mother and a great talent, and this person is only out for a reaction. Pathetic.
July 25th, 2006 at 9:24 am
“So to whatever coward is writing that shit on blogspot, fuck you. Obviously you are a) jealous; b) insecure; c) not afraid of Karma; and/or d) a childish mess of a waste of life. Grow up and get a life”.
I couldn’t agree more.
I am not a big fan of Dooce myself, but I don’t avidly read her blog for that reason. But I would never create a blog for the sole purpose of trashing someone else. There are so many other things more worth my time.
I didn’t even waste my time looking at her site.
July 25th, 2006 at 9:41 am
I like Dooce, and I don’t think that it’s a good idea to start a website with the sole intent of trashing someone.
But…the author of the Dooce-trashing site brings up some valid points. I sort of agreed with the post about using cancer as a ratings booster. Granted, I am super-biased and sensitive about that subject…but she did just casually mention it at the end of a post, not open comments, then wait a few days to elaborate. Each person deals with a diagnosis like that differently–but perhaps there’s a way that she could have broken the news to her readers that would have been more sensitive to those of us who have lived with cancer for a long time.
July 25th, 2006 at 11:08 am
Jen! Us Canadians are so frikken passionate, aren’t we? I can’t believe how mad I was about the whole thing. I feel kind of stupid blogging about it now, but I still hold the message that I intended true: we need not cut each other up. As women, as mothers, as people.
I just want to know the motive for someone to do something so hateful. I don’t understand it.
*shaking my head*
July 25th, 2006 at 11:11 am
I think I must be the only person on the planet who hasn’t read Dooce.
I’ve heard many good things though!
Regardless, the bashing is obviously a traffic attempt. How utterly sad and small.
Stupid people hiding behind keyboards and screens.
July 25th, 2006 at 11:50 am
Naw, I’ve never read Dooce either. But now I have. I laughed a LOT, on the first page. I’ll be reading her regularly now.
It’s interesting that once someon egains a certain amount of “celebrty” whether its online or in the big world outside, other people begin to have a sense of ownership of that person. When said person doesn’t behave in the manner that we think they should, some stupid part of us feels betrayed or something. Dooce can deal with Dooce’s cancer however she wants, but those people who think she should deal with it as they have/would get pissed off when she doesn’t.
You know, it’s the pack mentality. The same spirit of nastiness that causes the rest of the 7th grade girls to hate the one in K-Mart jeans. Be like us or be HATED in the most VILE of ways.
July 25th, 2006 at 11:51 am
Do I need spellcheck or what? Hahaaa
July 25th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
I think she’s over-rated and I don’t find her interesting in the least. I do think that she’s milking it for all she’s worth and I’m not sure I’d put her name and ‘honest’ in the same sentence…
However, as much as I agree with a lot of what that person says, maybe a true identity might help when you’re trying to blow somebody out of the water so you don’t look like a coward with an opinion.
My biggest peeve with dooce is the no comments thing…and I don’t give a shit if OMFG! she might get spammmmmmed!!! PUH-leez.
Anyway, I’m not a person the kind of opinion you’re looking for but yeah, how little of a life do you have to have to devote an entire blog to hate?
July 25th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Oh hell no! I have to go check this shit out.
I think Dooce is great. I don’t comment often, but I read her site almost daily. She’s great. I can’t understand why anyone would give her a hard time.
July 25th, 2006 at 4:20 pm
I don t see her as some sort of God, Whitters. That s just it - I see her as a fellow Mom. SHe is a person, just like you and I. I can relate to her and that is why I read her site.
I’m sorry…I realized too late that I didn’t clarify as well as I could have. I didn’t mean that you in particular thought/think of her as a blogging god–I gathered from what you said about Dooce that you related to her rather than held her up on a pedestal. My comment was about some of her more, um, rabid fans. The kind of fans who might track down someone who dared criticize Dooce for anything (which is probably why this blogger is anonymous).
It s interesting that once someon egains a certain amount of celebrty whether its online or in the big world outside, other people begin to have a sense of ownership of that person.
I think that, more than hatred, is what is motivating the Discussing Dooce blogger. It’s pretty stalkerish and squicky, if you ask me.
July 25th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
“Dooce can deal with Dooce s cancer however she wants, but those people who think she should deal with it as they have/would get pissed off when she doesn t.
You know, it s the pack mentality. The same spirit of nastiness that causes the rest of the 7th grade girls to hate the one in K-Mart jeans. Be like us or be HATED in the most VILE of ways.”
She CAN deal with it however she wishes…but using it to generate blog traffic is kind of weird.
July 25th, 2006 at 10:56 pm
I think what people are forgetting is that Dooce.com isn’t about being an open diary anymore. It’s about self-publishing. Writing what you want, publishing it the way you want, and marketing it the way you want. When you compare Dooce.com of today to other “mommybloggers” or personal journals, you have to keep in mind the author’s intent. I’m writing to make myself happy and maybe get some comments and internet-love when I hit “Publish”. I want my own record, and I like flashing it about.
Heather is writing and MARKETING that writing. I think she’s doing a fine job of it, too. She’s turned it into something different than the personal diaries most of us have.
If I were viewing Dooce.com as a personal blog, I would have felt the post that “dropped” the word “cancer” was manipulative and over dramatic. You have to remember she’s publishing real-time, based-on-a-true-story. If you felt manipulated by that, I think you’re not sure what it is you’re reading over there.
July 26th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
I have to say that I agree with Jonnikers first post… majorly. And I also 3/4 agree with Miss Ann Thrope in saying
“I think she s over-rated and I don t find her interesting in the least. I do think that she s milking it for all she s worth and I m not sure I d put her name and honest in the same sentence& ”
Mostly, I just don’t have a big opinion about dooce one way or another. I have read a few pieces of hers, haven’t been completely impressed, and am not really that into reading someone like her. SO I don’t. If she wants to sell out her entire family for a living, that’s her business….. except that it’s not, because she’s put everything out there in the open…. so what was once her own business, isn’t anymore. It is suddenly everyone’s business. Problem is, now that we know how a world of bloggers reacts, it’s pretty much too late. She can cut back on what she puts out there, but people are expecting the reality now…. It’s a catch 22.
I have to say that I can see where the anonymous blogger is coming from. The fact that he/she is writing what other people are thinking, albeit anonymously, is indeed captivating. She is in fact writing things that I myself have thought. And I am not afraid to admit that. That’s why everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Dooce is a big girl. She can handle it. I am not sure that she needs the entire army of mommybloggers uniting to defend her honor.
coolbeans has an excellent point saying that dooce is now marketing. And that can be manipulative and overdramatic.
I for one am glad that someone can write what they want- be it Dooce or her anonymous critic- that’s what blogging is all about! Blogging wasn’t start to make a living, it was started to speak your mind. And I for one hope that it can be both ways.
To each his/her own.
July 30th, 2006 at 1:19 am
During the same week Dooce posted about cancer, another not as well known blogger also posted about skin cancer. She posted pictures as well. No one has said anything about her dropping the word cancer to get hits.
A few weeks ago I wrote about how my friend died of cancer. It certainly wasn’t to get hits. I think it’s so strange how jealous some people are of people who are popular in the blogging world. I can only hope that people will read my site on a regular basis like they do for Dooce. I have to say, as awful as the discussing dooce blog is, she’s probably doing a world of good for Dooce’s traffic. Maybe it’s Dooce’s alter-ego.
August 1st, 2006 at 1:30 am
I sent her an email just to tell her I hope she’s ok. I know it’s been said that she doesn’t return emails, comments, etc….I just thought I’d write to her anyway.
I don’t know her personally. I have read her blog from time to time and no matter what, that woman has a family. People should NEVER attack someone’s family. What a shame.
p.s. trollbaby, i think it’s really sweet of you to take up for your friend. that’s what friends are supposed to do.
August 1st, 2006 at 1:30 pm
Wow, That was intense. So bizarre that the writer of that site would want to spend so much energy directed towards hate. I feel sorry for the writer of that blog.
August 2nd, 2006 at 6:02 pm
Talk about UNORIGINALITY! WOW SAD STUFF!
August 3rd, 2006 at 1:22 am
she just left comments unmoderated for a while. i should really stop reading. it is just so cruel.
August 6th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
Heather is amazing. I’m sure this is only one of the many things she has to endure but she keeps on, keeps it honest, keeps it real. That’s tough when you have people like this out there. I admire and respect her now more than I ever did before - and I admired and respected her quite a bit before.
Rock on Heather!