I Could Carry All My Clothes and Make-up in the Bags Under My Eyes
July 27, 2006
I’ve been up since 9 this morning. As in Wednesday morning. I FINALLY get picked up in an hour to be shuttled to the airport - a two hour ride that doesn’t actually leave the bus terminal until 4:15 a.m.
The a/c went for a shit this morning and I’ve sweat the equivalent of the Pacific Ocean today. Dehydrated, headache coming on, coffee-high, breathless from too many cigarettes. Shut up. I did quit. And I’ll have to do it again. So sue me.
I’m finally packed. I had shower #3 about an hour ago and actually put on make-up. I can feel it sliding down my face already. The fan is on, all the windows are open and I’m still sweating like Mimi on The Drew Carey Show after a pound of hot and spicy buffalo wings. Not pretty. Put the toilet paper in the freezer for Mimi - she’ll need it after tonight. (I used to have a guy roommate who would stick the toilet paper in the freezer so he could better face the “ring of fire” after a night of draft beer and wings. Gross huh?)
My only hope now is that I don’t fall asleep before the cab driver arrives to take me to the terminal. Course Ruffy would bark like a mad woman and I would stumble out of my house with my very large suitcase with too many clothes, shoes and product, looking like Joan Rivers. Or Tara Reid. Same difference I suppose. They both have faces like a can of smashed assholes. That what partying will do to you. Take heed BlogHers.
I just hope my flat iron makes it through the luggage blender at the airports. I cannot have frizzy hair in front of BlogHer’s most intelligent women.
So I received Super Mom a few days ago, and I had it all planned that I would read it on the plane. Yeah, I’m halfway through it because I can’t put the bloody thing down. It’s light reading, hysterically funny and you’ll like it. I think the paperback comes out on August 1st.
Well folks, this is as live blogging as you’re going to get from me. I don’t own a laptop and all the smarter women will be more fun to read anyway. Plus? No sleep from Wednesday 9 a.m. to Sunday at 11:30 p.m. for me. Nothing I write would make any sense. Copius amounts of alcohol, and overloading of my brain at the conference, makes for BAD blog fodder. I may just implode. Take cover Roomie!
See ya Mondayish. Maybe sooner, maybe not. Depends if I make friends with someone who is laptoppy. It’s like making friends with people who have a pool. Only cooler.
July 27th, 2006 at 3:08 am
I’m first AGAIN. And I get shit for prizes. Anyhoo, have a safe trip, have a crap load…….of fun, hope your hair gets flat and you make friends with a cool person who has a laptop that you could perhaps borrow so you could pop in and say, “hi, howsh it going” in a kind of a drunk slur and perky smile, we’d love that. Oh take a pic or two would ya?! Muah!
July 27th, 2006 at 8:56 am
You have yourself an awesome time, Karen!
July 27th, 2006 at 10:37 am
“…faces like a can of smashed assholes.” Priceless. I’m going to find a way to use that statement sometime soon.
Have fun!
July 27th, 2006 at 10:45 am
Sleep when you can, have fun the rest of the time.
July 27th, 2006 at 10:53 am
Hey have yourself a bitchin’ good time!
July 27th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
face like a can of smashed assholes
bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
you almost made me for get my envy of all you blogher attendees! Have fun!!
July 27th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
no way. people with pools are WAY cooler!
July 27th, 2006 at 12:50 pm
I am soo jealous. Have a great time, try to get a little rest, and don’t get too drunk.
We’ll miss you!
July 27th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Have a great trip!
I’m going to have use that “a can of smashed assholes” that’s great.
July 28th, 2006 at 10:14 am
That is hysterical!…The can of comment.
And unfortunately, the ‘ring of fire’ vision won’t leave my head….eeeeeewwwwww!
Have fun, flat hair, and (cute), male flight attendants!
July 30th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
Are you back yet? Hurry UP!
July 30th, 2006 at 3:00 pm
You were the MOST FUN ever. I’m seriously stalking you now. You had faboo hair and looked awesome.
I so miss you now.
July 30th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Wonderful, another hilarious well-written blog by a gorgeous unavailable woman. My Bloglines is out to get me.
Had a blast meeting you this weekend. Look forward to reading your stuff.
July 31st, 2006 at 2:01 am
Me too! Me too!
I had such a good time with you this weekend!
You just sucked me in. I LOVED your anniversary post. So beautiful!
I am so excited for you to design my blog. Will be getting in touch with you shortly.
MmmmWah!
July 31st, 2006 at 1:25 pm
Freezing toilet paper to fix the firey anal symptoms of a night of drinking. See, this is why I read blogs…for the sophisticated insight it brings me.
Hee.
July 31st, 2006 at 4:06 pm
so where’s your damn recap hot cleavage lady? You’re not actually spending time with the kids are you?
July 31st, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Dude. You better drink yourself sober and post already. It’s been only 36 hours and I’m already going through withdrawls.
August 1st, 2006 at 12:42 am
I don’t know about the rest of you left at home while the fabulous ones had so much fun, but I am having blog withdrawal… Karen, POST already! We want to heeer!