Must Stop Talking On The Phone
August 16, 2006
Troll Baby never stops talking lately, and although most parents would be all like, “SHUT UP ALREADY!” I completely adore it. He babbles away, experimenting with syllables, sentences and exclamation marks, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Don’t look at me like that. I know it will change. Soon.Today I talked to Sassy and Jenn on the phone and because I’m aware of the swearing that I’m not doing, especially after this incident, I’m very careful to use words like fartsucker, poop, shoot (no, not poopchute. though that would be interesting), and lately? Bizatches.
Guess who has a new favorite word? Um yeah. Troll Baby has a posse and it’s name is the Bizatches.
I had simmered spaghetti sauce all day on the stove and when we sat down to dinner, Daren remarked about how good dinner smelled.
“Smews good, bizatches,” a voice came from a certain high-chair.
Daren looked at me.
“What?” I laughed, “It’s better than it could be.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Don’t pick your nose, bizatches,” Thomas offered.
Daren glared at me, as I tried VERY HARD not to laugh.
Dylan was shooting spaghetti sauce out of his nose, snorting and giggling and my stifled laughter could not be held.
“Want some parmesan, bizatches?” Thomas knew he had our attention and was giving it his all.
“Pwease, bizatches?” he whispered.
Daren held back his smile long enough to give me The Look.
What I haven’t told Daren is that after dinner, when Troll Baby and I went to the drug store, the Bizatch-talk continued. Oh yes, yes it did.
As we made our way from the milk case to the cashier, we passed two ladies at the Kodak Picture Machine.
“Hi, man,” Thomas said.
Ignored, he tried again, “Hi man waydees!”
The man-waydees looked at him and one crouched down to say hi right back.
Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it.
“Whatever, bizatches.”
And that is when I died in Shopper’s Drug Mart.
August 16th, 2006 at 1:36 am
Hi man waydees!
I’m imagining Jerry Lewis from ‘The Nutty Professor.’
And thanks, because I’ve been wondering how to actually spell ‘bizatches.’
August 16th, 2006 at 2:08 am
Bwahahahaha! I would have gone straight to the personal care aisle and grabbed some Depends after pissing myself laughing.
August 16th, 2006 at 9:52 am
Hahahaha! Oh that’s too funny!
August 16th, 2006 at 11:11 am
Gigggggle.
August 16th, 2006 at 11:37 am
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You could have him calling your mom a d*ckhead like my girl did at 3 years old.
August 16th, 2006 at 11:53 am
I love the whispered Pwease, bizatches?
That is when the snort came shooting out of my mouth and nose and one of my colleagues peeked around my cubicle wall and asked what was so funny. (I told her it was the crazy numbers on the financial report I had in front of me…riiiiiight)
August 16th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
*snort*
I am sorry you are gone. I will miss you.
August 16th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Funny stuff.
Mir - gone? Karen? Whatddya mean?
August 16th, 2006 at 2:50 pm
Too funny! I love the whole “Pwease, bizatches?”
August 16th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
I love being one of his Bizatches! I do so love him!
“What’s up, Bizatch?” OMG hearing it live on the phone is priceless. Mwah to my little man!
August 17th, 2006 at 9:09 am
And then you died in Shopper’s Drugmart…
Could not stop laughing…
and I kept on hearing The Night the lights went out in Georgia…The bad Vicky Lawrence SOng… Don’t know why… It was just there with ‘Whatever, Bizathches!’
August 17th, 2006 at 10:00 am
I love going out in public with kids… that’s beautiful! They have a wonderful way of making us cringe eh?!
Right now my 3 year old is living in the “bathroom” talk phase, we’re trying to get him out of saying, “… it’s in my butt!” every time you ask him where something is. He starts junior K in 3 weeks…..
August 20th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
“..man waydees!” You’re killing me, Karen!
I so wish I could be a fly on the wall in your house.
October 6th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
[...] I am thankful for Karen Rani of Troll Baby. Cool girl and Mommy from “Back East”. Her son Thomas is one of my favourite net kids, cause da boy is fun-nay! Bizatches! Stop over at Karen’s today and wish her a speedy recovery. She’s feeling a little under the weather right now and it’s Thanksgiving! She needs to be well so she can eat lots of turkey. [...]