My Mother Prayed
September 1, 2006
My mother prayed
beautiful words like poetry
I think now it must have been the psalms
or the secret subversive prayers of women
in secret she prayed
behind closed doors
so no one would hear or see
not like the hypocrites who pray on street corners
on the way to the store
on the way to a party
on the way to a football game
we always seemed to pass the church
when it was empty
let s just stop in real quick and light a candle
but it ll take too long, we ll be late
you have enough time to light a candle for your grandma
never when a priest was around
never when there was someone you might call
a spiritual director
was I the only one who saw her pray?
the hypocrites
the bastards
she called the priests
and then she saw me and stopped
she went to confession
and Mass
at Easter
her annual obligation
why do I have to go, it s not fair, you don t
it s different
you re a child
and you need to learn
one time I heard her say
why have they taken my faith away?
~ Missy
September 12th, 2006 at 2:33 am
Do you still have any? My faith died when I was 12. I don’t think my mother really ever had any either. Church itself became the penance. And she’d pray too not quietly ostentatiously. At least while in church. The secret prayers were always while hiding in corners with her hand over her eyes. I don’t believe in faith.