Sometimes it’s Okay to Pay Off a Plushie Pusher
September 20, 2006
I still haven’t quit smoking. Despite the promises I’ve made to my family, I still smoke and it’s really pissing off Daren and Dylan. Dylan is telling me all the time that I’m going to die a horrible death and it’s upsetting to hear him say that, but I cannot kick this filthy habit. Yuck. I suck.
Friday night, Daren and I had a date and went to the Western Fair by ourselves. It was a stealth mission, since Dylan would freak out if he knew we had gone, even though the plan was to take the kids to the fair on Sunday, which we did.
While we were there, we held hands, make fun of the dental floss most of the teenage girls had up their butts and played alot of games. Then I spotted a game where we could win Crazy Frog. Much to my chagrin, Dylan LOVES Crazy Frog, and so I HAD to win it for him. Unfortunately, it was a shooting game and though as a kid, I loved to shoot tin cans behind the cottage with my Papa, I wasn’t about to weild a cork gun now. So Daren (grunt grunt grunt) had to be the man and step up the plate.
The man running the game was huge, scruffy looking and had a twinkle in his eye that told me he had a heart the size of his gut. I asked him how many wins it would take to acquire the medium-sized Crazy Frog and he replied, “16.”
Daren, being all about the kitchen math, calculated that at 4 coupons a pop, he was clearly looking at about $40 if we were to win that stupid thing. He looked at me and mouthed, “Forty Bucks!”
I looked at the man and said, “Is there any other way you could be persuaded to perhaps help us win it?” I flashed him a smile and a twoonie. He laughed.
“Depends how sneaky you are.”
Daren begin shooting and I threw down the 2 mini stuffed animals that we had won at other kiosks. I snuck the twoonie under one of them, and Daren stopped shooting to pull a $5 bill from his pocket and whispered, “Give him that.”
The man kept loading Daren’s gun and after about 10 more shots, he reached up, grabbed Crazy Frog and presented it to us, all the while swooping up our money and mini stuffed animals as a trade.
We got home early enough to find Dylan still awake in bed and presented him with his new toy. He was thrilled and assumed we had bought it for him.
The next night, I was tucking Dylan into bed and I mentioned that we had been thinking of him when we won that frog.
“You won it?” He looked surprised and I knew I’d been caught. Me and big mouth.
“Um….yes, but I don’t want to tell you how we won it.”
“Why?” He asked.
“Because you’ll be mad at me.” I winced, wondering how I would explain this one.
He scowled, furrowing his brows and snarled, “Why? Did you win it in a cigarette smoking contest?”
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September 20th, 2006 at 10:26 am
Now that is hilarious! Smoking is the only bad habit I wish I could still do. My mom passed away in ‘03 from emphasema (which I can’t spell) as she had a 45 year old habit. I still dream about smoking sometimes, so I know how hard it is.
Sam saw a demonstration at school with the pig lungs with cigarette smoke in them and what happens so he’s just a stong advocate as your Dylan.
September 20th, 2006 at 10:47 am
I can remember my sister coming home every year of elementary school sobbing because during “Just say No” week, they told all the kids that cigarettes were drugs and so she thought her Dad was a druggie. Of course in the late 80’s this meant that he was standing on a street corner, pushing crack to kids, running from the law. I’m not sure how a painfully white accountant with an afro fit into the picture, but she thought he was going to get in the middle of a gang war drive-by and he would be gone forever. All for smoking cigarettes.
And I quit when I found out I was pregnant. It is one of the hardest things I have ever not done again. I’m with you.
September 20th, 2006 at 11:15 am
First of all…why didn’t you win ME anything?
Second of all, do what you gotta do…but quit. Do it. Now. The Queen orders you.
Actually, if they family guilt won’t work for you, I’m probably not going to do much better.
Other than to say-do it or I will kick your ass. And you won’t be able to run away, because of all the lung damage.
Quit and I’ll pay your blogher tuition.
Quit and I’ll send you surprises.
Quit and I’ll come visit.
September 20th, 2006 at 11:16 am
Dylan sounds exactly my Zach….they are about the same age, and he is as adamant about the not smoking or in his mom’s case her quitting. I almost spit my coffee out at that last comment he said.
September 20th, 2006 at 1:00 pm
Do they have cigarette smoking contests?
September 20th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Okay “twoonie?” When I lived in North Dakota we went up to Winnipeg for a Saturday and when we didn’t know what a “loonie” was (and I’m just guessing on the spelling here) we were openly mocked by some flaky cashier who was okay with using the word “loonie” in everyday speech. I don’t know . . . seems that an economy relying on something called a “loonie” may be the odd one here. But hey, it was a great trip anyway.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:18 pm
a cigarette smoking contest…
omg, that is PRICELESS!
September 20th, 2006 at 5:24 pm
Poe (husband) and I quit smoking. Several times. In two months. Not only that - we’re on Wellbutrin to help. AND YET? Still smoking. “Just tonight because…” Ugh.
September 20th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
*sigh* I’ll break it down for ya since the chick was probably 15 and thought she was like so like totally like cool…
loonie as in the loon that graces the front of the $1 coin.
Twoonie as in it Rhymes with loonie and we can’t stand how much it looks like a friggin quarter in our change purses.
Canadian slang- we’re so cool.. or looney Whatevah.
And Karen- I love ya but there ain’t no way in hell I’m ever gonna kiss ya if you keep smoking. I mean, ewww.
lol
September 20th, 2006 at 8:19 pm
If - I mean when - you quit, please pass on your secret! Filthy habit indeed. I suck too!
Your son is way too cute! Thankfully, my daughter can’t talk yet or I’d be right there with you feeling the guilt.
September 20th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
Oh the slings and arrows of little kids…
I’ve quit 4 times so far. I’ve tried patches (can smoke quite easily wearing them), pills (Zyban), gum … everything.
I hate that I smoke. If they could just put me in a coma-like state for about 7 days, I’d be fine.
The longest I quit was 11 months. Cold turkey. Then, we went out, and I was standing next to someone who had just had a cigarette. I wanted to suck the nicotine off his business suit. I started the next day. It was just going to be one. How naive I was.
I wish I could quit. I really, really do.
September 21st, 2006 at 1:16 am
Now that was rich! *wipes tears from her eyes* My kids did the same thing to me when I was still smoking. I found the easiest way to make oneself quit is to tell yourself how disgusting and bad tasting it is every night before bed and mean it. After a while you will feel a twinge of disgust that you need the cigarette, and you can start quitting. It’s easiest for me to quit really slowly, like cutting down over a period of weeks to only one cigarette per day (smoked in thirds).
Best of luck quitting, and thanks for the great story! (I am subscribing to your feed.)
September 21st, 2006 at 7:47 am
That was too funny.
My Pap tried to quit seven times and was finally successful about two years ago, when he promptly traded smoking for chewing, which is easier on the lungs (I guess).
Keep it up–you will be successful one day. It’s not easy, but you’ve got your brilliant Dylan to back you up.
September 21st, 2006 at 3:16 pm
I can’t quit either. I can’t even talk about it because I so can’t quit yet.
September 21st, 2006 at 5:18 pm
I just quit 25 long as hell days ago after years and years and years of smoking.
I keep telling myself, “I can make it until break” or “I can make it until the show goes off”. The little short term goals are easier for me.
Good luck - but if you can’t quit - please don’t feel as though you failed. YOU have to be ready - not friends, family or anyone else.
September 26th, 2006 at 4:52 pm
BWAHHHH!!! Tha kid is too MUCH! Smart lil whip like that? This early? Oh, mama! I can see the need to keep smoking! It’s been 7 years & I still threaten Hubs.
October 21st, 2006 at 2:56 pm
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