To Belinda, With Love
September 20, 2006
Everyone who reads Ninjapoodles, loves Belinda. Well I have to say, this woman is amazing. In so many ways. There really are no words to describe her loveliness, her friendship and just well, Belinda. Beautiful person. Belinda posted a challenge tonight for all her readers to snap a pic of their TiVos, and another pic of their fridge.
Since what Belinda wants, Belinda gets (God do I EVER know that - ha ha!), here we go:
I don’t have a TiVo, but I’ll tell you my personal fall lineup instead:
Mondays: Medium
Tuesdays: House
Wednesdays: Nothin’
Thursdays: ER
Fridays: nowhere NEAR a T.V.
Saturdays: see Fridays
Sundays: Desperate HouseBitches (as Daren so lovingly calls them)
And here is my 341 year old fridge (note the abundance of condiments behind all the beverages and million and one lunchbox type stuff.) We are condiment whores in this house. Salad dressing is our 3rd favorite liquid, after booze and water (not together, because that sorta defeats the purpose of the booze, no?)(Also note the overuse of brackets in this post.)(Fuck I’m tired.)
And YES, that plastic container on the right, in the middle? BABY SPINACH. Which we make salad from. Us Canucks like to LIVE ON THE EDGE. Take that, Lindsay. Maybe I’ll go enroll Troll Baby in a pageant, too. 
This has got to be the most exciting post in the history of Troll Baby. I can SO hear your hearts pounding with anticipation of my next most boringest post. Let’s move on from the inside of my fridge, shall we?
This week has kicked my ass. Literally. My buttcheeks are killing me from life just hurling large feet at them. The weekend ended with my 3rd period in 5 weeks starting, a head cold that won’t quit, Troll Baby with the same cold, and Dylan’s school calling yesterday to tell me his entire face was red, rashy and that I needed to come and pick him up. Turns out he had an allergic reaction to his new sweater, which his DUMBASS mother did not wash before putting on his body, before shoving him lovingly sending him off to school. Yeah. So that was fun.
He spent all day yesterday and today at home, with me, where only 2 demands came out of his mouth the entire time he was here: Can I have a sandwich? and When can I have the computer?
I mustered up the utmost of patience over the last few days and swallowed many a swear word. Last night, after an oatmeal bath, a day of Benedryl and some hydrocortisone cream, I asked him if he wanted a snack before bed.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” he asked.
“Because you’re sick and I’m worried about you and that’s what Moms do,” I answered. I was weary, headachy, feverish and so very tired.
He looked up at me, his blue eyes studying my face. “I’m glad you are my Mom.”
I’ve told you before that this child of mine has crawled into my heart and taken me to the most vulnerable and loved places of my life. I hope I can do the same for him. He is growing up so fast, so wonderfully, and I’m so very proud of him.
I don’t know if he knew that was the sweetest thing I could have heard all week, but I squeezed him and kissed his head, and hoped like heck that he did.
September 20th, 2006 at 11:57 pm
I guess this Canuck doesn’t live on the edge because quite frankly I don’t like spinass, err spinach but I do love most other salad stuff. Salad stuff? Ah vegetables. Anyhooo, I’m obviously drunk because I thought my website was http://ohmygawdreally.baldspot.com and I was going to call myself a cajun instead of a Canuck. Whatever. Dylan is a sweet boy and you’re a lucky mom. And he’s a lucky boy. And I’m a lucky drunk. (Enough brackets?)(Holy shit)(Go to bed already).
September 21st, 2006 at 12:27 am
OMG, I was about to do something similar (as in an Ode To Canadian Blog Designer of Excellence), but now it would just look stupid (and it would have been genius before, right?). But let it be known, far and wide, that I HAVE, in fact, been caught licking the monitor as it displayed my new design. Which everyone has been very positive (seriously, the love in email form and the rejoicing of folks’ eyeballs is overwhelming) about, EXCEPT FOR MY HUSBAND. And I was really pissed off at him over this, until today. When he started telling me of his decorating plans for THIS HOUSE. OK, can I just say, take our disagreement over what is right and proper and pleasing and fun in blog design, and multiply it by 3,400 square feet, and SEE WHAT YOU GET. Holeee crap. And now, I am terrified.
So, if you start reading pleas for help as “things” start being done to my new home that are NOT OKAY…will all you wonderful Canadians use your mind-meld power and HELP ME overcome his will? Because, really, aren’t husbands supposed to just shut UP about the decorating? I mean, unless you are doing something that is just personally offensive to them? I already conceded him the finished basement as his personal workout area/football shrine. COME ON!! I should have know, before we were married, when I realized that, oh my gosh, he really DID care about the china patterns. Has that ever happened in the HISTORY of man?
(Oh, but I must mention, that today? Every time he’s been in the vicinity of me staring lovingly at my new blog, which has been…a LOT? He has come up with a very specific compliment on a different aspect of the blog, i.e., “I really do love those scrolling menus.” Yeah, keep sucking up, buddy! God, he feels bad because he made me cry. And where the hilarious irony lies, is in the fact that if he had just HUSHED UP until the bugs were worked out, he would have been pretty much OK with it. Because? “Well, it didn’t look like that yesterday at work.” Arrrrrrggh)
Just wait until hysterectomy time, and mood-swings and hot flashes. HA. NINE DAYS.
And “I’m glad you’re my mom?” How do they know to DO that? HOW? So what was it about the sweater? Dyes? Textiles? I am dying to know.
Also, I feel I have to share, since you mentioned pre-washing new clothes: Bella, who never had diaper-rash in her LIFE, as soon as she started wearing panties, started having redness and irritation of her privates. The ONLY thing I could figure as a culprit was detergent, so I was going to go back to that hideously expensive Dreft…and then I checked out that Charlie’s Laundry Soap link on BusyMom’s site. And just…WOW. This tiny little paper sack of powder does 70 loads (1 tablespoon per load), and not only is your stuff clean and additive-free, but you no longer have to use fabric softener. And we have had NO “irritation” problems since then. And that is my really long-winded way of saying, “Hey, check out charliessoap.com sometime!” I just had my nightly methadone/xanax cocktail. 9 days ’til surgery!!
And yes, for some of us, and definitely you and I, this was a sucky weekend for a MYRIAD of reasons! Like I said to you, the PERFECT STORM OF SUCK.
Is “Medium” back on already and I’ve missed it?
And did you know that you don’t have to refrigerate your salad dressing until you open it? And that it makes a mother of a marinade? I love you for posting your ‘fridge. I’m definitely making a flickr group, and maybe other bloggers can think up exhibitionist “dares,” too!
I envy you the ability to put kid-friendly food on low shelves. If we do that, and this is no lie, Bella gets up early, does NOT wake us, and we will eventually wake to the sight of her sitting in her daddy’s recliner in front of cartoons on the big-screen, eating directly from a pint of Phish Food ice cream.
I totally want you to pack my lunch. Every day. I WANT TO BE A CANADIAN!
Wow, I just wrote the longest comment of my life. Just dropped by for the bandwidth, THANKS!! And how hilarious was it that today, in my Ark Times post, EVERY blog I linked (well, except Dave’s) had you as designer? Oh, that reminds me–I might’ve mentioned you in my Ark Times post a couple times today. I thought I tol’ you, but I bet I didn’t. Because I didn’t even tell Lindsay, but she showed up.
I am going to pass out now. ‘Night!
September 21st, 2006 at 2:03 am
Because, you know, I didn’t write enough before–post your pics here, and be thinking of new ideas for “daring” behavior that we can play with (note to YOU and ERIN V: THERE WILL BE NO TOPLESSNESS): I DARE YOU!
September 21st, 2006 at 7:40 am
Re: The flickr group–sounds like fun! Although my fridge looks woefully pathetic compared to y’alls, I’m sure. I don’t have a TiVo/DVR either, but here’s my list:
Monday-Thursday: the Daily Show, the Colbert Report
Tuesday: Miami Ink
Thursday: My Name is Earl, the Office
Sunday mornings: VH1’s video countdown and Best Week Ever
And I’m so glad that Dylan made you feel a little better. (Hope he is feeling better too.) (And that you both had a good night.)(I am totally procrastinating studying for my grad school entrance exam right now.)(But I’m using multiple ellipses so it’s all good.)
September 21st, 2006 at 12:53 pm
As another Canadian who loves Belinda to death and also is obsessed with the visual I had to visit. You are hilarious, and I love what you do with blog design. Must remember to visit again.
September 21st, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Ooohhh I love picture games!! And your fridge is beautiful, my dear.
September 21st, 2006 at 8:03 pm
I keep all my condiments in the door, which I couldn’t fit in the shot. A pic of just people’s condiments could start a whole ‘nother story, couldn’t it?
I see you have a yogurt addiction as well, but V8?? Ewwwwwwww