Suffocating
October 6, 2006
UPDATE: I’m heading to the hospital. Things are looking worse. Thanks for your kind words.
UPDATE #2: I’m home.? See here, then see here to nominate me in the Really Fucking Stupid Blog Awards.
My lungs are still very sick. I’m still coughing at the same rate I was 3 weeks ago, and still not able to take a deep breath. I’m sleeping alot in the day, and not at all at night. Thomas has it too, has had it as long as I have, and I’m worried about both of us. I’ve been blogging my heart out here, touching on serious topics I don’t normally even mention here, and for what? Why am I so full of angst and purpose these days, when walking to pre-school is a huge chore? Who knows.
I’m closing Troll Baby Graphics indefinitely. Of course the customers I owe work to will get their stuff, but I cannot keep up this many projects without feeling overwhelmed, and so it’s with a heavy heart that I announce this today. Perhaps a few weeks, a few months will help me, who knows. But for now, I need to take one of these many pans out of the fire and put it on the back burner.
I want to continue blogging here, and with others at Motherless and BlogHer. I want to pursue the Ontario Works Photo Project. I want to put away all the laundry and take care of my kids needs. I want to read Mud Puddle every single time without thinking about what is on the go, what is overdue (everything) and what emails I have piling up.
There are alot of things to do, but the first priority right now is our health, Thomas and I.
Everything hurts right now, as I physically feel crushed by this decision. I feel like I’m letting people down, like I’m failing, like a quitter. But I can’t breathe people, I can’t breathe.
October 6th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
You’re not letting ANYONE down. If you cannot take care of yourself, then you are no good to other people (namely, your family) if you are sick and rundown all the time. More to follow in email (have to go to work now.)
love,
amanda
October 6th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
It’s a smart person who knows when to say uncle, Karen. Take a look around; we’re surrounded by people who refuse to cut down, and the results are devastating. You’re not being disappointing. You’re being sensible.
Now go get better, darlin.
October 6th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
Take care of yourself Karen. No one is going to fault you for needing a break. What you give us, your readers, is a GIFT, not something that you owe us. Please don t feel badly.
BTW, it sounds like you have pneumonia.
PLEASE take care of yourself!
October 6th, 2006 at 2:21 pm
You and your family are the number one most important things you need to worry about. Rest, relax and get better for that. All the other stuff will be there when you’re ready.
Besides, it’s a long weekend and there are no worries allowed on long weekends
Happy Thanksgiving. Take care of you.
October 6th, 2006 at 3:31 pm
I cut back on some things that I thought were very important to me a few months ago. I still enjoy them, but am so much happier and able to take care of my home and spend more time with my family.
Don’t feel quilty, it will all work out for the best. Sometimes we just need a break to catch up and reorganize. Good luck with yours and I hope you feel better soon.
October 6th, 2006 at 4:05 pm
Oh feel better soon! I know it is hard to place those items on the back burner but it is not worth wiping yourself out. Get better and then tackle them one day at a time.
October 6th, 2006 at 5:18 pm
Everyone needs dormant cycles in their lives, to allow them time to assess, regroup, rethink their direction. You can’t grow without them.
October 6th, 2006 at 6:31 pm
Congrats on knowing when to say “enough.”
October 6th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
Karen, take care of yourself! YOU are the most important person in your life followed by the members of your immediate family. Nobody else matters, including bloggers who want templates. Don’t worry about them.
I hope you can breathe freely soon! Your health is important and it sounds like you need a break to heal. Thinking of you!
October 6th, 2006 at 8:21 pm
The hospital……well, that’s a good thing - if ya look at it right. They’ll fix you up! Hope you’re feeling better soon.
October 6th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
Wise decision. Let go of undeserved guilt … you (and your family) HAVE to come first.
Take care. Be well.
October 6th, 2006 at 10:08 pm
Ack! I’m sorry to hear you’re so sick, but glad to know you’re taking care of yourself.
When you get home, go back and re-read your own post:
http://www.troll-baby.com/2006/08/28/selfish/#more-423
wipe away the guilt and then go get better!
October 6th, 2006 at 10:36 pm
Hey, without your health, you can’t do any of the things you want to, right? So putting a few things on hold in order to care for yourself is more than reasonable.
Take care of yourself, woman! There are far too many nasty, antibiotic-resistant bugs out there today, and you need all the strength you have to fight them off!
October 6th, 2006 at 11:46 pm
You will be well soon. I know it. The force is strong within you, Luke. When you get better, everything will seem fine and right and simple.
Now go get well.
October 7th, 2006 at 12:58 am
[...] Karen Rani just went to the hospital, which seems to cap off the shittiest day that ever shit. Please leave her your well wishes and hopes for a speedy recovery. [...]
October 7th, 2006 at 1:42 am
[...] And now this. [...]
October 7th, 2006 at 2:54 am
I came across your note on Blog Explosion, and am so sorry to hear about your lung problems. I have similar problems, and oddly enough am a graphic and web designer too. I haven’t done much work on blogs other than my own two (the other is optymyst.com which discusses lung issues and that one was templated). I have a partner who is also a designer; let us know if we can help you.
October 7th, 2006 at 3:43 am
Hey lady. Go make yourself better, you arent letting anyone down! If you didnt get better the only person you would be letting down is yourself. I hope you feel better soon!
October 7th, 2006 at 4:15 am
You are loved dear. I will light a candle for the increasing wellness of your household. You aren’t a quitter, you just know to take a break when you really need it. Not everyone is wize enough to know when that is. *comfort*
October 7th, 2006 at 8:43 am
Take care of yourself! Feel better!
October 7th, 2006 at 9:02 am
If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything. You’re not letting anyone down so there should be no need for guilt. God knows there’s enough guilt thrown at us (as women/moms) daily, so no need to pile more onto yourself. You have to take care of you inorder to take care of your family and for that, noone will look down at you. If you feel like it, you’ll reopen, if you don’t, you won’t. It just means that a new chapter is beginning and who says that’s a bad thing? I hope they give you and T something that will kick this sickness in it’s ugly ass! Sending lots of love through the miles.
October 7th, 2006 at 9:10 am
Feel better — do! And then spend lots of time feeling better but pretending you don’t so people bring you cups of tea or hot toddies in bed.
October 7th, 2006 at 9:18 am
I hope you are feeling better soon!
October 7th, 2006 at 10:13 am
Get better soon! Take care of yourself. Enjoy reading your journal,
Kate.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/bobandkate/AnAnalysisofLife/
October 7th, 2006 at 10:45 am
I hope you feel much better soonest, and you’re home safe and snuggled up together resting ASAP.
I developed a chronic illness in the past year, and it did make me focus on what is most important, and lose the rest. I hope there is a bright spot in the pain for you.
October 7th, 2006 at 10:52 am
Hope you feel better reals soon! I just got back from the hospital and I do have to say, “yay drugs!”
October 7th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Just get better. We will all wait. We’ll be here when you get back.
October 7th, 2006 at 11:31 am
Oh Karen, Things are not good for you if they cause you physical pain. Take a rest girl, everything else will be here when you get back.
Take care of yourself and your family
*hugs*
October 7th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
I never understood why anyone would take on 3 or more blogs. The bloher thing seems to be the worst as far as pressure to “perform.” That’s the first thing I’d dump.
In fact, I’d dump everything except this, motherless and the graphics…to even think of ADDING to it with a photo whatever is silly.
Why do you feel like you have to over achieve? That’s the question.
I hope you feel better soon. Being sick sucks.
October 7th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
You need to take care of you! I hope everything is ok and that you feel better soon!
October 7th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
To quote Count Rugen from “The Princess Bride:”
Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.
He may have been six-fingered and evil, but this much he did know.
I hope you feel better soon.
October 7th, 2006 at 1:30 pm
health is wealth. no one will begrudge you for taking it easy to get back in the pink of health. get well soon!
October 7th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
ATTENTION: ABOUT KAREN!!!
I just spoke to her and she’s going to be fine! Yay! She’s got walking pneumonia and was prescribed an inhaler and some new meds to kill the bastard germs..haha! So she’s on her way to pick up her medication and then she’ll be home to hopefully REST! Love ya bizatch!
October 7th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
You are not letting ANYONE down. You are doing the best possible thing for you and Thomas. If you do not stop teh ride you are on you would only get more sick. I am sure that everyone who knows you, and reads you fully supports you in this decision.
Sending good health vibes your way.
October 9th, 2006 at 11:05 pm
[...] And now this. [...]
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:08 am
[...] As of next week, Troll Baby Graphics will be open again for bitniz. There are already lovely people in the queue, so it might be a week after that before I can get to new people, so that’s where it’s at. I promise not to work myself into pneumonia again. [...]