At What Expense?
January 24, 2007
So let’s say that at age 11, your son gets kidnapped.
4 years later, he is found to be living with the grown man who kidnapped him.
There are signs the man sexually abused your son.
Would your first priority be your son’s mental, emotional and physical well-being, or would you let the media circus put him in a whirling tornado of t.v. interviews and unprofessional speculation?
Dear Oprah,
Just WHY does “America want to know” so much? And at what expense to Shawn’s well-being?
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hornbeck,
For the love of God, protect your child from this and get him the help he needs. There is something extremely wrong with you as parents for embracing all of this attention and treating Shawn so disturbingly. What’s with “step-dad” stroking Shawn’s thigh in the Oprah interview? Why does Shawn look to step-dad before answering any questions?
Take a lesson from the Ownby family and protect your son. He is still a baby. YOUR baby.
January 24th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
I haven’t watched much about this (and I don’t watch Oprah). I just catch a piece here and there. I do remember a week ago seeing a child psychologist (on CNN) blasting John Walsh (America’s most Wanted) for pleading with media to leave the boy alone. In her Opinion people needed to know what happened to protect their own children and the truth needed to be known so the boy could begin the healing process. I also remember thinking what a moron she was. This boy needs his privacy and needs to be reconnected with his family and himself. I already talk to my kids about strangers and what to do. I don’t need to know the details of this boys sexual abuse and experience to know how to keep my kids safe. This is just a case of the proverbial ‘car wreck’ that everyone needs to stop/slow down and look at.
January 24th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
I am very torn over this. In one light, I applaud them for trying to teach this kid that he did nothing wrong, therefore he has nothing to be ashamed of. My understanding is that they devoted most of the past 4 years of their lives looking for him, and other children who have disappeared. I think they simply want a “happy ending” to get as much national exposure as the sad ones usually do.
On the other hand, i am also a bit disturbed that they have turned this into a media opportunity. If the kid wants to tell his story, arrange one private interview, taped, to be aired at a later date. To parade this poor kid out in frnt of press conferences, television shows and media hounds….all the while knowing that he is not allowed to discuss any details, well, it seems a bit creepy to me.
Hopefully they are getting him the help he needs behind the scenes.
January 24th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
BTW: Tag, You’re It!
January 24th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
I think I understand why parents/everyone seem to want to know the details so that they can keep their own kids safe or whatever, but the parents of the boy should not be letting everyone in. Right now I bet the boy needs to heal and find security and normalcy. Someday he may be ready to tell his story. Maybe he won’t, but it doesn’t seem like it should be the parents right to decide. He isn’t old enough to decide yet either. For now, I think everyone should leave him alone and let him try to start healing and let him try to get back to “normal life”. If the parents really want to protect him, maybe they should start by doing this.
January 24th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
I couldn’t agree with you more, Karen. As a sexual abuse survivor and advocate, I can say 100% that the choices his parents are making are horrid, ill-advised, and selfish. Shawn’s healing should be their number one priority, NOT fifteen minutes in the spotlight.
January 24th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
No, really…I can make a link! seriously! I can! 3 comments from me in like 10 min. that’s not pathetic is it?
Tag, You’re It!
January 24th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
I’ve wondered why they have been doing these interviews. I’d have him in an undisclosed location if he were my child. I hate the press sometimes!
January 24th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Amen.
It’s got to be about money.
Sad. Very sad.
January 24th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
America doesn’t “have” to know, that’s a load of bull. I’ve never understood why people have to air their “dirty laundry” - as mom puts it - on national television. I could understand Shawn talking about it years from now after he’s gotten help and is no longer suffering.
But basically walking from the kidnappers house on stage to talk about it? That’s disgusting. I can’t believe his parents put him through that shit.
Way to say it Karen. You should call up Oprah (whom I normally like) and Shawn’s parents, then bitch slap them.
January 24th, 2007 at 6:57 pm
Honestly, I thought the way he so doey eyed looked at him the whole time to be disturbing? I was very confused as to why he was even there to be gin with. I usually like Oprah but lately I feel like she acts like she has a psych degree. Hello? Just because you hang out with well educated docs does not make you one of them. She may need to teeter off of that high horse.
January 25th, 2007 at 12:30 am
Amen sistah!!!
January 25th, 2007 at 2:52 am
The last thing the boy needs is to be hounded over and over by anyone.
He should be with his family learning how to live in a loving enviroment as oppossed to what he was.
They are abusing him just as much as his tormentor was.
Have a nice day
January 25th, 2007 at 8:36 am
I’m just going to copy and paste my comment I posted on whitetrashmom.com on the exact same topic.
I’m lazy.
(Sorry in advance, It’s a BIT long)
UEGH! Queen Oprah “Martyr of the Disabled, Misfortuned, Poor and Victimised” Winfrey to rescue again.
Who got kidnapped??
The Press? The parents? Oprah?
No. The kid got kidnapped.
The parents had to deal without there son being there and having to worry, miss and assume everyday, but it was kid who was suffering the most.
And same goes for mollestation/rape.
THE KID was the one who went through that.
The one who felt dirty. The one who felt ashamed. The one who wanted to clean himself until he didn’t he smell like evil anymore. The one who just want to fucking go home.
My point is: the whole thing, the whole tragedy, the whole experience belongs to the kid and the kid only. It’s HIS pain.
It’s the parents’ pain in the aspect that they LOST their kid for quite some time.
I jave no doubt that they woke up every day missing their son like crazy and probably assuming that he was dead. Being uncertain of everything.
But the rape? They did not feel, smell or taste that. They were not there.
And as mjuch as he probably hates it, It’s the kid’s.
So I think the kid hasd the right to tell the world. If he wants to tell the world his sotry for whatever reason, then he should.
But it is not the parents’ pain to describe.
It’s like explaining the pain of broken leg when you’ve never actually broken you’re leg. And every person feels different about the pain of their broken leg. Some people might say “it hurt a bit, but I got over it, some might say “Yeah, it messed me up for a while but I’m on the right track now.” and it might lead some to suicide.
… Sorry for the metaphor, it’s jkust that I really feel that this is his.
I mean, say you have a 14 year old girl. Somehow she gets raped.
Initially, you’d sad, useless, worthless, empathetic and all sorts.
But over the years, when recalling it, you would say “My daughter was once raped. I felt awful for her.”
You felt awful for HER.
Buit she was the one feeling the direct shitness of the whole thing.
See what I mean??
I no way whatsoever am I saying the parents feel no pain. I’m just saying, in comparison to what the kid has been through, he’s no doubt feeling alot more pain than the parents.
I mean, once the kid comes home - the parents are joyous. Buit the kid is probably licking the salt from his wounds, so to speak.
The incident belongs to the kid.
It should only be on Oprah if he’s saying it himself. Straight from the Horse’s mouth as they say.
There. Done.
Sorry if I seemed blunt or something, I just feel very strongly about it
January 25th, 2007 at 10:01 am
as much as I am curious to know what happened, I am appalled at the amount of interviews the parents are allowing.
This isn’t about the people’s right to know - it’s about protecting the children.
January 25th, 2007 at 11:57 am
I know exactly what you mean. I dont really blame the media…Oprah, ect. for wanting to interview him, I mean it’s their job and they want the ratings. But it’s the parents job to say NO…he’s not ready, we’re not ready. They should be protecting their child, they should be getting him help. It’s awful. I just hope the poor boy will be getting the help he needs.
January 25th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Personally I would protect my son at all cost. This poor boy has been through enough. Probably more than we can even begin to comprehend. Thrusting him out into the media should be the fartest thing from their minds. Getting him counseling, comforting him, helping him get back into the normal flow of life that is what he needs the most right now. Honestly you can’t blame the media. Most of them could give a rats ass about the child they are more concerned with ratings. They may cover their true intent up with ” we want to get the story out there to protect other children” but ratings is the bottom line.
January 26th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Poor kid. Finally gets freedom only to be hounded by the press. As far as the parents go, I think it’s just ignorance. I don’t think that they believe they are doing anything that might hurt him. Also, they may be pushed by the media. I’m not saying it’s right, but maybe that’s what’s going on.
As for Oprah, I get so tired of her. I’ll be glad when her show goes off the air just because of programs like this one.
January 26th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Yes, I agree, doesn’t it seem that now EVERYONE will know who the kid is? NOT that he should be ashamed, but doesn’t that now keep him from getting back to a “normal” life? How ever normal it could be after 4 years.
It also ran through my mind, when asking myself “why didn’t the kid escape? Could he have been abused or emotionally damaged before the kidnapping?” Just a thought I had.
I do not watch Oprah, but yeah, she’ll grab all the hot topics for the great ratings.
It also ran through my mind, “How much do they get paid per interview.”
January 26th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Yes, Yes, Yes.
There is a difference between showing him he did nothing wrong, etc…and making sure he’s not exploited in a media whirlwind. They can do all of this without making him a celebrity.
January 31st, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Well, at least you’re not attacking other mothers and criticizing their choices.
January 31st, 2007 at 9:01 pm
When it comes to abuse of one’s children, I’m not attacking a mother, I’m bringing the child(ren)’s best interest to light. I see your view as black and white. Give me a break.
January 31st, 2007 at 9:26 pm
I have wondered the very same creepy things. Thank you for saying them!