M&M’s and Demons

February 27, 2007 Me, Unplugged

Let’s see how long I can ride this blogging train…

Christina says:

In my house, peanut M&Ms are considered  power pellets.

Damn straight sistah. I can fold laundry way faster after a bag of those. But Sassy and I have a deal. We are only allowed a bag of M&M’s on Tuesdays. If we ate more than that, we might as well rub them on our asses, because dude, that is where they would end up. So if you want clean clothes on a Monday, you can forget it.

What is your favorite chick flick? I m really needing to get a good cry out today&

I have two. The first being Magnolia. I love that movie with every fiber of my being. It’s a grab-you-by-the-balls-in-your-face kind of movie. I love stuff like that. Daren didn’t understand it. Hard to understand it when your eyes are shut, sweetheart. It’s not a tearjerker, but definitely a chick flick, in my opinion, but then I live with Mister If It Isn’t a Mystery, Gore, Horror or Action Movie Then It’s Time For Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

The other movie is Divine Secrets of The Ya-ya Sisterhood. Ashley Judd as a young mother is what I lived with as a child. If you know the movie, there’s that scene where she wakes up from a drunken slumber to her kids puking, and steps in it…then freaks the fuck out. She loses it completely and starts beating the children, running them right out of the house while the oldest daughter tried to stop her. I am a MESS watching that. I know the terror those children are feeling and it takes me right back to being that oldest daughter. Needless to say, I own the movie, but have only watched it a handful of times when I need the demons to come out for a romp.

Any tips for keeping chaos at by? The company I work for has a great resource for organizing kids rooms (check organizingmyhome.com). I m looking for more ideas.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Wrong blogger, Christina. But I’ll plug your site, nonetheless, because it’s pretty. Chaos doesn’t live here. Seriously…we are a really laid back family. Every Sunday we break God’s rules of rest and crank the tunes and work it. Takes about 2 hours for us all to do this house, but we maintain as we go all week anyway. The kids have a blast and hubby and I compete to see how sweaty we can get. Call it foreplay.

Onward, Ho!

February 25, 2007 BlogPants

As promised, more answers to your burning questions.

Vicky says:

Okay& wait, what is that smell? Okay, holding nose, here goes&

Heh. She’s funny. It was the dog.

I m going to ask you Canadian questions because, you re like, the only Canadian blogger I know. Oh wait, there s me. And Sassy. And Her Bad Mother. And JenB. But you re like the most famousest of the Canadian bloggers I know. And clearly I know five.

I just threw up. Seriously. Famous? Ha ha ha ha ha. Vicky, I want copious amounts of whatever you are smoking.

Question 1: Who is the funniest Canadian on TV? (I say Rick Mercer, but you don t have to agree. It s Rick Mercer though by a long shot)

The funniest Canadian of all time was John Candy. Hands down. My Papa used to install construction projects for a major bank and was walking through the Toronto airport 15 years ago, and sees this big guy coming toward him. He knew that he knew this guy from somewhere but couldn’t place him. He nodded hello and the man nodded back. That night, Planes Trains and Automobiles was on and my Papa smacked himself in the head. Yup, it was John Candy. I loved that fat fucker.

“Those. Aren’t. PILLOWS!”

Question 2: Who is the BEST LOOKING Canadian male on TV? (I say that George Snuffle-upagus guy from The Hour. I stay up way past my bedtime sometimes just to get my fill of those eyes. Buh!)

You’re assuming I watch Canadian t.v. I don’t. I love my country but I resent the fact that the CBC can conjure out such utter crap 90% of the time with government money. Every Canadian knows this, yet we let it continue. If I ran Canada, I’d be running it more like a business and less like a bloody soup kitchen, but that’s me. Less money for the t.v. crap, more money for Olympic hopefuls, and you know, healthcare and education. Meh. I didn’t mean to get all political there. Whoops.

Sexiest male Canadian? I really don’t know any except my husband, (who is not on t.v.),? but Mike Smith cracks my shit up royally.

Question 3: Who is the FUNNIEST and BEST LOOKING Canadian male on TV? (Shawn Majumder. The end.)

Whoops again. Mike Smith, hands down. I have never heard of Shawn. See? I just don’t watch. I promise to check him out if you tell me when and where.

Question 4: Can I have some M&M s?

By all means. Email me your address.

Question 5: Why can t you answer any of these questions for yourself? I m doing all the work here!

I just did, beyotch! I hope it wasn’t too disappointing that I’m more into U.S. t.v. and U.K. music than my own country’s media, but I gotta go where the going’s good. Or something.

Right! I have a blog!

February 23, 2007 BlogPants

I forgot about that! What’s with all the exclamation marks ya’ll? I am typing like Britney Spears, yet all the words are spelled correctly.? Did you HEAR about her going crazy?? Wild.

Where have I been? Hmmm..good question. I’ll get back to the questions you left but I feel as though I should tell you what I’ve been up to. I bought a piece of land. And I built a house on it. I’ve been going nightclubbing with her and her, and oh! I got new boobs! I’m not a video game person but Second Life has me completely addicted. I was saying to Erin and the Kaiser last night that it really should be called Naked Life. People are always running around naked. It’s very strange and I can’t explain it. My favorite thing is that I can fly. Anyway, my husband has been saying YGAFN in the spirit of LOL and BRB. If you’re a geek like me - find me there under the name Duchess Voom. Really, I should have named her Duchess Va va voom, because you should see how hot she is. Ha ha.

Also, Thomas is sick again. Yesterday he spent the entire day on the couch, learning to be A Man With a Cold. Yes, my 2 year old is mastering the fine art of milking the cold for all it’s worth. Which for me, was a-okay, because all he wanted to do is lie around and snuggle with Mama. Good times. Except for the snot. That kind of sucked.

Well I have to run - I’m throwing a surprise birthday party for my girlfriend’s son at noon and we’re not dressed here yet.

Me, Unplugged: Part One

February 19, 2007 Me, Unplugged

So last week, I asked TB readers to ask me questions rather than try and nail down 6 weird things about me. I’m lazy like that.I’ll announce the winner of the Flickr Pro account once I’ve answered everything. The thread is now closed, so there will be no more entries.

On to the questions! (Sassy’s fart questions don’t count though - we were just fooling around)

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah asked 2 questions:

What is the best book you have ever read?

What movie makes you laugh the hardest?

The best book I’ve ever read is a really tough one to narrow down. Many books have touched me, like Comeback, I Know This Much Is True, and Cat’s Eye. Being a busy mom, I like a book that captures me quickly when I crawl into bed, because otherwise I’m asleep. Recently I’ve read Joy Fielding’s Puppet, Mad River Road, Missing Pieces, and I’m currently reading The Deep End. Her books are interesting enough to pull me in and keep me there.

For non-fiction, I’m kind of a geek. On my desk you’ll find Spring Into HTML and CSS, The Zen of CSS Design, PHP MySQL Website Programming, and the CSS Pocket Reference. Yeah. Thrilling.

The movie that makes me laugh the hardest, without a doubt is The Big Lebowski. The ridiculousness of the entire movie kills me every time. My friend Jenny also has a love for the movie, as you can tell by the design of her blog, if you know the movie. Ahhh pretty Jenny. LOVE her.

“Nobody fucks with the Jesus.”

“8 year olds, man.”

***

InterstellarLass asked:

Have you ever cleared a room with a fart? (Sorry, Sassy was cracking me up.)

What do you like best about where you live?

What s your favorite room in your house?

What s the oldest item of clothing you own and why do you love it/keep it?

I have never cleared a room with a fart. (You guys are like, totally gross man.)

I like our city because it’s relatively safe, it is close to most of our families (even my grandparents and cousins being 3 hours away is closer than we were when we lived on the West Coast), and there’s tons of hockey to keep (all) my boys happy. I would be happy wherever though - I’d love to live closer to my family, but I don’t think that is going to happen. It’s alright though, Daren’s family have always treated me as their own.

My favorite room in the house is our family room. Daren built it last year and its where we spend most of our time. The colours down here are warm, chocolate and caramel tones. I blame this room for my weight gain. I hate the fact that a lot of my old posts don’t have comments anymore, but I was on Blogger, with Haloscan and I’m too afraid to import my HS comments - besides, I think you have to pay the $12 to get a premium account in order to access them. Pah.

Here’s some pictures of the construct-y part where Daren is working hard.

Here’s the finished product, where Thomas is 19 months old and is very destructive.

The oldest piece of clothing I owned (I just threw it out - it was threadbare) was a beige sweater that I had. I had replaced nearly all the buttons on it, with mismatched buttons I just happened to have, pink, brown, ivory buttons, didn’t matter. I kept it so very long not because it fit, (it didn’t), but because it reminded me of a time I stood on my own. Daren and I started out quite hot and heavy (a story for another time I think), but I insisted on living on my own for quite some time before we shacked up, as every woman should.

I went to an auto auction, by myself, with $300, wearing that sweater. The auction had a system of traffic lights as the cars went through whereby green meant the car was in great shape, yellow meant the car had mechanical problems, or had been in a minor traffic accident, red meant the car need major work or had been in a major accident, and blue meant the odometer had gone around enough times that they had no idea what the mileage was.

(It’s a picture of a picture - oh well - click to enlarge it!)

When this green car came through, and only the blue light went on, they started the bidding at $100. Nobody put up their hand. Except me!

The auctioneer pointed toward me and said, “We’ve got $100, got $100, anyone want this beauty for $150?”

Nobody raised their hand.

In less than a minute, the auctioneer shouted, “SOLD! To the little lady in the sweater back there!” and everyone turned and stared.

I tried to play it cool, but if you know me, you know I can’t help but smile when the time is right. I beamed. I knew the other people in that room thought I was wasting my money, but I didn’t care. I was sick of riding the bus an hour each way to work.

I signed all the paperwork, insured my hunk-a-junk and this little lady got in her car and drove away. I had bought my first car: a 1977 Pontiac LeMans, puke green, with brown leather seats.

Once I’d filled the tank, all was well and I arrived home safely, although I knew I’d need tires. Thankfully I had a guy friend who liked big American cars, and he showed me around the engine a bit. He also did an oil change for me, and looked over everything. Turns out I’d gotten quite a well-running car for my hundred bucks.

I put $200 worth of tires on it, and turned it in for a $1000 credit toward a used, albeit newer car. Pretty good for a “little lady.”

Anyway, that sweater was a reminder of a time where I stood on my own. I threw it out recently because we’re trying very hard to clean out our house so we can put it on the market. Oh joy. I’m anxious to buy a new house, a bigger house, with a pool, but the simplifying of this place (read: tossing and giving away of junk) is tedious and hard work!

***

Tune in tomorrow when I answer more questions! (This might take a while!)

Forget Britney Shears

February 18, 2007 BlogPants

This is some talent.

BNL: The Sound of Your Voice

February 17, 2007 BlogPants

Barenaked Ladies’ new video features YouTube’s most popular!? I’m a huge fan of YouTube, so this was pretty cool.? How many do you recognize?

What the…???

February 16, 2007 BlogPants

There is absolutely nothing I can say to prepare you for this.? WTF?

Photo Friday: Self Portrait 2007

Photos

Click to enlarge. For more Photo Friday, click here.

Don’t forget to Ask Me Anything! You have until Sunday night, and one lucky person is going to win a Flickr pro account from me*!

*If you already have a Flickr Pro account, I’ll give you $25 via Paypal.

ANYTHING?

February 15, 2007 Me, Unplugged

Catherine of Her Bad Mother tagged me last Wednesday for this Six Weird Things, um, thing, whereby I have to tell you six weird things about me.

Um, yeah. There are WAY more than 6.

Tomorrow being Photo Friday, I’ve decided to post this meme with a twist on Monday. But I need your help.

Send me questions! ? Millions of them!? What do you want to know? If you are shy about your question, email me instead. I’ll give you till Sunday night, and I promise to answer every single question. So leave a question or I’ll feel really like a big loser-head and I’ll never speak to you again.

Heartbreaking

Friends

Chantal’s son Alex, has been diagnosed with Kawasaki’s Disease, which is what Dylan had at 3 months of age.? She needs all the support she can get right now - I know how scared she must feel.? Please head over there and send good wishes.

xo