Please turn three, Please turn three, Please turn three
April 3, 2007
Troll Baby has been a walking attitude problem as of late.? Besides the “Are you impressed?” line he threw at me a couple weeks ago, he has learned the art of screaming the word “No!!” at the top of his lungs, turning red and spinning his head 360 degrees.? I’m awaiting the spewage of green goo and have a priest on speed dial, just in case.? The pre-school teacher told me he has learned?the yelling?from another child at school and she is working on it.? We discussed her approach and I agreed I would keep the same consistancy at home by telling him to speak nicely, blah blah parenting psychobabble blah.
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Now when Dylan was two, he was sweet, pleasant, patient and loving.? At three, that all changed.? I know I shouldn’t compare the kids, but what I’ve got to go on is that this behaviour is about to get worse.? At three, Dylan was defiant, exercising his independence at every turn, and argumentative.? Thomas is all those things now.? So um, three huh?? Wonder if he’ll make it to July 8th for cake and balloons.? He is quickly becoming Other People’s Kids.? I can’t stand OPK.? I know that’s harsh, but really, I can’t.? OPK are annoying and I don’t have to love them.
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Last night he was high on the arrival of Daddy, and running around like a little chimpanzee, even stripping off his diaper and telling us he was “gonna pway wif his penis,” standing like a linebacker and flipping at it with his fingers, a huge grin spreading across his face.? It was pretty comical actually, but then he turned around and shook his butt.? We were cracking up (although in the back of mind I was thinking he is SO OPK).? He then ran to the fridge, helped himself to an applesauce and joined us at the dinner table.? After repeated warnings to sit on his bum, he stood up for the 4th or 5th time and I said very sternly, “You need to sit down in your chair, or you’re going in time out.”
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He looked me dead in the eyes, smiled and said, “Mommy, you suck.”
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WHAT?? You know that scene in A Christmas Story when Ralphie says Fuck in front of his dad while they are changing the tire?? It was kind of like that.? My jaw dropped.? Where did my baby boy learn that one?
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We calmly gave him the time out for being rude (although I nearly bit off my tongue in the process), and carried on with our dinner.
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When his time out was over, I got down to his level, all Supernanny-like, and asked him if he knew why he was in time out.
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“Mommy?” he started, “You don’t suck.”
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Good to know.
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Internet, despite what you’ve heard, I don’t suck.
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Also?? Daren is the best husband ever.? Wanna know why?
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He’s been doing yoga and pilates with me.? AND?? He told me it was harder than it looks.? Course, I don’t have 220 pounds of muscle to balance on one foot while my other foot is this way and my arms are that way.? I can imagine it would be harder for guys, wouldn’t it?
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He told the guys at work yesterday that he was doing Yoga with me.? Daren works with 99% guys, so you can well imagine how that went.? Now, you gotta know Daren.? He really really REALLY (did I say really?) doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks of him.? He is a very confident person, dances to his own beat, and pretty much everyone likes him.? He’s one of the most reasonable people I know.? So when the guys started razzing him about doing Yoga, he shook it off, typical Daren-style.? I asked him if he thought it was a mistake to tell the guys at work, and he just thinks it’s funny that they are all worked up about it.
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Erin says I should try and get Daren doing Yoga?on tape and put it up on YouTube.? I told him that last night, and his typical answer after me having this blog for what 2+ years??
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“G’ahead.? I don’t give a fuck.”
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“You wouldn’t mind?”
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He laughed, “Do what you want, baby.”
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“You really don’t care?”
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“Should I?”
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“Well I’m not going to do it unless I can get a protest from you.”
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“That’s nuts.”
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“Uh, well, have you READ the blog lately?? I AM nuts.”
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“You’re not nuts honey.? Don’t say that.”
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“What am I then?”
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“Sexy.”
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“Thomas says I suck.”
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“You do.” **Wink**
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“You’re a brat.? Go put your leotard and leg warmers on, Flashdance.”
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“Only if you put on Olivia Newton John while we watch that fruitcake dude?on Iron Yoga.”
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:39 am
LOL! Yes, 2-4 is the age where you really start to wonder occasionally WHAT made you think becoming a mom was a good idea!
I think it’s awsome he does yoga with you! Prince Charming just likes to watch me do my yoga. Maybe that’s ’cause I do it naked. Hmm. Maybe that is why I never get through my whole yoga dvd
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:43 am
hmmmm
tell him I want him naked…doing yoga…and I’ll PAY for it
youtube. NOW DARREN
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:46 am
He is going to ask me “How much?”
Ha ha ha…
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:26 pm
My three year old told me he wanted a different mommy because I was not a good one. He was mad because I said no about candy for dinner. He carried on for at least an hour as I sat there with my heart breaking but trying not to show it. After he calmed down, he told me he was sorry but I just made him so mad. He only wants me. It was so sweet it almost made up for the terror that he was. I know what you mean about OPK!
Your husband sounds cool. Naked yoga? I think maybe that should be a private sport.
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Man, Eric wouldn’t even do Yoga with me (well, there were some things that could be considered yoga-related, but nothing that would even be on a fitness video). You are one lucky girl!
But then again, does Darren have ulterior motives for learning how to do yoga? Hhhhmmmmm…
April 3rd, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Flashdance! HA HA. My hubs did PiYo with me once. I don’t think he’ll go back. It wasn’t the ‘meditation’ he thought it was.
April 3rd, 2007 at 5:00 pm
First time to this site. Your post was FUNNY!
Massachusetts dads generally don’t have the self-confidence to wear leotards even in private. It has something to do with Puritanism attaching to the Y chromosome.
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suburban parenting in Mass., USA: http://surfcountry.blogspot.com/2006/05/readers-choice-priced-to-move.html
April 4th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Now there’s a REAL man.
April 5th, 2007 at 7:22 am
We had something similar happen around here with the Pickle. He’s taken to watching Spiderman I everyday. Mary Jane says something to her employer like, “Yes, Enrique, I GET YOU, OKAY?!” so of course, he picks it up.
“Pickle?”
No answer.
“Pickle!”
“Yes, Mommy, I GET YOU, OKAY?”
April 6th, 2007 at 11:08 am
My 4 1/2 year old has started saying “Poo-poo in your pants mom!” and laughing hysterically. Also “HUSH, GIRL” to me and “HUSH, BOY” to my husband. At least he gets his personal pronouns right. *sigh*