Overwhelmed, Already
July 27, 2007
So Solo Mom and I made the great big drive here to Chicago and promptly acted like guys, refusing to ask for directions and using the theory that following the big buildings to get to downtown and winging it on where the lake shore actually is, we could find the hotel.? It worked.
The hotel is lovely but the whole “shutters for privacy” thing in the bathroom kinda put me off.? Last year I worried about pooping.? Again I clench my ass cheeks shut and expect a rock hard ass by Sunday.? Heh.
I’ve already had a pep talk from the wonderful Devra, who talked me down over beers last night.? I’m feeling way overwhelmed, not being used to this many faces and SQUEEE! all the time.? I am very excited to see friends but I have to admit, my stomach is in major knots.
So today while all the lovely ladies are in conference, I’m heading off for some alone time - shopping, lunch, exploring.? I wish my husband was here to join me and next year I think he should be. ? I need him to hold my hand right now.? I don’t know if this is social anxiety or what.? Having had kind of a tough year, it’s hard to face the people you have expressed your deepest fears to.?? Honestly, I’m a mess right now.? Not myself at all.
Maybe I’m going to make the anxiety worse by hitting publish on this, but when have I not been honest with you?
July 27th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and give yourself a talking to.
That’s what I do. LOL.
“get yer shit together” usually works for me.
Chill sweetie … have a great time, okay?
July 27th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Just remember to breath. I’m sure it’s annoying to hear, but taking some deep breaths when you feel anxious can really help. I’m sure there are tons of people who are nervous.
Have fun and take some pictures, because this weekend, I’m living vicariously through all of you.
July 27th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
OMG. Karen! You’re doing GREAT! I can understand how difficult it must be - I’m really not great in those kinds of situations either.
You’re overwhelmed, BUT! having fun, you’ve done this before, you can do it again! You’re VODKARELLA for shit sakes!
It’s been a whirlwind of activity and once you get your bearings you’ll relax. You’re going to have a fabulous time tonight!
July 27th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Stop. Breathe In. Exhale. Repeat. Follow with Chaser of Vodka or (my personal favorite) A Peach Sangria from http://www.1492tapasbar.com/. Seriously…they rock.
You are having a little social anxiety…but it’s overwhelming..so It’s okay
You can do this. Have fun! PC and Alex are in Chicago today at the Bean and Art Museum. You may actually walk past ‘em 
July 27th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Hey, are you kidding me, baby you are the shit so start acting like it!!! You know you rock and we know you rock so relax……..you’ll be amazing as you always are baby..
July 27th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Count to ten… breathe… focus. Since you’re by yourself, head over to Miller’s Pub. They make an absolutely fabulous martini and it has a great atmosphere.
And see ‘The Bean’ (real name Cloud Gate) while you’re there. Just staring into it and seeing the reflections of life is amazing in and of itself.
If that doesnt work, let me know and I’ll have my brother and future sister-in-law take you to their favorite “dive” bar… it’s guaranteed to please.
July 27th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I think a lot of this is pent up stress from selling the house etc as well.
I got some retail therapy and talked to hubby - eating room service now and hopefully getting my testicles in order to face the crowd later. Gah.
Love you guys - thank you….xo
July 27th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
WHERE ARE YOU? I need to buy you a drink (and oh yes, the shutters are making me clench like a mo’fo’)
July 27th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
I hope you have so much fun! I live near Chicago (about an hour away), so if you are lonely and everyone else is busy maybe I could keep you company?
I think it is awesome that you share so much with all of us.
July 27th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
You’ll be fine! I know you will. Keep focused and stay grounded. Enjoy your trip away…you totally deserve it.
Keep smilin’…hope to talk to you soon!?!
Love ya!
Nic
July 28th, 2007 at 7:47 am
I know its real, but girl - you are one hot chick that anyone would be delighted to meet someplace like that. If I were there (which I am not - darn the pacific ocean and adjacent earth deposits) and if I had half your balls I would be so glad to have a cuppa (ha) with you and let you relax or chat or whatever. Heck, while we’re on fantasy I would buy your house to take away your fears.
As I am not their, I am willing to lend you the small amount of balls I am not using.
July 28th, 2007 at 7:48 am
Hate that - there not their.
July 28th, 2007 at 10:37 am
You’re so lucky being there!
July 28th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
I know that feeling all too well…except the butt clenching thing. When I gotta go, I gotta go.
Anyway, knock ‘em dead. I’ve been reading here for quite some time, and I know you’ll rock the joint.
July 29th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Go have a good time in the name of all of us who are too socially anxious to make it. You will be our patron saint! Vodkarella - Social Anxiety Ass Kickstress!
July 29th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
lol @ the shutters. I think we were ALL clenching. So not suave OR comfortable.
I wasn’t aware you were feeling overwhelmed. You played it off really well.
I didn’t get nearly enough time with you but it was still good to see you. Next time we’ll come extra early to get our bearings and I promise not to squee.
PS: the cheese stands alone.
July 29th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
I understand completely. It was fun, but all those people just exhausted me!
It was great to meet you for 30 seconds!
(Ooh - And I totally didn’t poo until I got home. Same issue here. Boy that’s fun!)
July 29th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
The shutters made me cry. Because no one needs that much access to the noise my ass makes when it’s hungover.
Also, I waited for you to come up to the room last night and was looking forward to finally having a real conversation with you.
But I know you hate me and my high maintenance.
July 29th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
The funnest part of BlogHer was with you, Aaron and the ear flapping guy.
And shutters? WHO THOUGHT OF THAT SHIT??
July 30th, 2007 at 12:21 am
It was great to meet you at BlogHer. I especially enjoyed our time in the W hotel room. Wink. Ha! Looking forward to reading your archives.