Domination! Not the sex kind, the world kind
August 9, 2007
I volunteered to help Karen out while she s& well, we ll call it resting& and after banging my head on the desk a few dozen times trying to think of something to write about, something occurred to me&
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Doing that really, really hurts…
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Then something else popped into my head& how would I go about taking over the world& .
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Then something else popped in& how can I boondoggle that query into a post for Vodkarella&
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Now, let s be honest, taking over the world is not an easy thing. Many have tried, more have failed. From Charlamagne to Alexander the Great. From The Brain (and Pinky) to Stewie Griffin.
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Every few years some group/individual decides that they want to rule the world. At times it seems everyone wants to rule the world& just ask Tears for Fears (I know, it was a lame joke, but it had to be said)
If any of these failed conquests has taught us anything, it’s that movies and television characters just can t get this whole taking over the world concept correct. There are a myriad of reasons why no other world conquest attempt has worked. Due to that, I am going to carefully describe my plan to take over the world on a Saturday and Sunday. Why the weekend? During the week I have more important things to do (family, work, sleep).
The first step towards reaching my goal will be to get out of bed early Saturday morning, even before my daughters wake up. The second step will be to head to a local butterfly garden to assemble an army of butterflies. Why butterflies, you ask? Bart Simpson said it best, Because nobody suspects the butterfly.
The third step will be to go to a Little League Baseball game, and assemble a second army of Little League parents. Why little league parents, you ask? Good question. Little League parents are fanatic, crazed groups of adults that have no sense of decorum in the heat of the moment. Who better to have as back-up to the dastardly butterfly army?
So, now that I have a powerful, unassuming army of butterflies, and a weak, crazed army of little league parents, I will focus my attention on actually taking over the world.
First, I will go up to the President of the World’s door, and I will knock on it. If he does not answer, which I suspect will be the case, the next step will be to send in the crazed little league parents. As they occupy the guards, I will send in my covert team of butterflies, who with their butterflyey (is that a word) stealth, will knock out the President of the World (I can t harm anyone, I was born in The A-Team generation where a car with 6 people could flip over a dozen times and everyone walks away without a hair out of place, much less hurt or dead).
Now there will need to be an election to decide who will be the new President of the World. This is where creativity plays a big part in my scheme but I have an ace in the hole.
Kathryn Harris (you remember her, the woman in Florida who helped Bush stea I mean win his first presdential election in 2000). If she can t fix an election, I could always use the United States Supreme Court to arrange it for me.
Flawless plan, huh?
Have your own idea on world domination? Write it down in the comments section&
