A One-Time Appearance
August 15, 2007
A few weeks ago, Karen emailed me and said “SJ,” (as people rarely call me by my real name, which is totally boring and WASPY, though I can’t say that my heritage is the Germanic/British Anglo-Saxton which is mentioned in WASP, especially since there’s some Spanish blood in there, which explains why everyone in my family tans easily, except for me.) “Would you like to guest blog on my website?”
That got me to thinking…guest blogging, do people really do so? I mean, sure I’ve seen it from time to time but figured it was just one of those fantasy things that people reference or talk about, but don’t really believe in, such as Canada. In my book, Canada and guest-blogging are both on par with the Tooth Fairy.
Then, after I thought about guest blogging, Canada and the Tooth Fairy, I wondered why nobody, in my four years of blogging, has ever asked me to guest blog. Sure it could be that I like to put semicolons in places they don’t belong and I enjoy very long paragraphs within parentheses, but, come on! I’m a nice gal! There’s plenty of boobie touching pictures from BlogHer to prove it.
After jumping up and down for what was at least five minutes, I got to thinking about what I’d actually WRITE on Karen’s site. Do I write about that sex change operation she’s undergoing, or is that one of those things, like Great Aunt Hilde’s Mustache, that we just don’t mention?
I think it is unfair that she won’t go into more details of the operation, as I’m very curious as to what will be done with that teeny little weenie she’s been sporting for awhile. Do they make it an innie? One really big clit? Put it in a jar for the mantle? Karen, we need details.
If the operation is off-limits, how about her need for constant enemas? Her collection of toenail clippings? That thing she does with her finger when she thinks nobody is looking?
She told me to stay away from anything to do with her anal beads. But she didn’t say anything about her habit of stuffing her bra!
Woohoo! Okay! I’ve got something, finally! Karen stuffs her bra! She’s a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee! She puts socks in her over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder! HA! HA! HA!
Now, if I can only figure out why nobody invites me to dinner parties…
This post was brought to you by The Sarcastic Journalist. She invites you to share all of your dirty little secrets with her. ?
August 15th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
I may or may not have been known to buy the “ubber” padded bras to make it look like I have rack. maybe.
August 15th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
If the guest-posting had involved a contest-type-thing, this entry just got my vote. :’]
August 16th, 2007 at 8:09 am
To me you are so much SJ that I can’t even remember your name after having met you and having had dinner with you…um…is it ok if I call you SJ?
August 16th, 2007 at 11:33 am
Hahaha! This was great! And FINALLY, I can comment on one of your posts! Gah!
August 16th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
At last my real name isn’t Harold.
Plus? I will be so superstar with a shlong. Word.
August 16th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
I certainly hope she’s getting a really big clit. We should have been equipped with a big one to begin with. It’s only fair. Is this what they call penis envy?
August 16th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Giggggle! I’ve never guest blogged either. Maybe because I wrote about doggy poop bags. The trouble with my rack is it sort of hits my knees when I don’t wear a bra, ummmm that’s an everyday thing around here.