‘Widdle Brudder’
September 20, 2007
The last few weeks have been kinda nuts. You already know what I’m juggling daily, and I’m not writing to complain yet again.
This afternoon has been perplexing. I have no experience with what is going on here, and I’m wondering if there are any Moms or Dads that do.
I got out of the shower after working until about noon, and checked on Thomas, who was playing quietly in Dylan’s room (Dylan is at school). He was talking to himself, and as I combed out my wet hair, I listened.
“Thomas, here, use this one,” he said, then I heard a toy clink into another toy. Curious, I peered out of the bathroom door at my young son. He was sitting on the floor and ‘handing’ another toy to the air in front of him.
“Whatcha doin’ buddy?” I asked him.
“Pwaying wif my widdle brudder,” he answered.
I asked him questions about his “widdle brother,” and his ‘widdle brother’s’ name is Thomas and has the same last name as him.
My heart leapt into my throat. A thousand thoughts muddled my mind: why has he developed an imaginary brother? Is this the start of a multiple personality disorder? Is he lonely? Did I not play with him enough today? Is there anything wrong with him? How do I handle this? Do I acknowledge the ‘widdle brudder?’ Do I ignore ‘him?’ If I don’t acknowledge the widdle brudder, will that be damaging?
I know I should probably calm down, that I’m probably worrying for nothing, but I don’t know how to handle it. I’ll tell you one thing, there will be no reversal of any vasectomies and we sure aren’t going to adopt any kids.
Help! How do I handle this?
___
Win a copy of the DVD Knocked Up, at Droolicious.
September 20th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
This is totally normal for many kids…my daughter did that. I didn’t talk to her friend because the pediatrician said let her have her thing and my getting in on it might perpetuate it. And that in fact many bright children tend to do this because they have excellent imaginations. My daughter is now 15 and hasn’t talked to her imaginary friend in about 11 years! My current 3 year old talks to a friend in her room on occasion as well.
I was fearing you were going to relate this post to the one about THE RING!!!
September 20th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Totally normal - my eldest had an imaginary friend named Charity. I have no idea where she even heard that name. Charity lived with us for about 3 years, and then one day I realized that Angelica hadn’t menioned Charity in a couple of weeks - and that was it, over and done. Geli was about 3 years old when Charity showed up, and obviously by the math, 6 when Charity dissapeared, and Geli is now 10 years old, and a very normal, and bright little girl. Oh, and I did have 2 younger children, so she wasn’t hurting for younger siblings. We didn’t disclaim her “friend” nor did we make a big deal out of it. Just kinda went with the flow, and it all worked out.
September 20th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Set another place at the table, I guess. I always wished I had had an imaginary friend, or failing that, that one of my kids would. And while one would only respond if addressed as “Polynesia” (from Dr. Dolittle) for about two months, we never had an imaginary friend. My guess is that Thomas will eventually fade away, and that you needn’t do anything one way or another. I’d have fun playing with him!
September 20th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
When I was a kid I had “pretend company,” because we lived in the boondocks and it was a big deal when company came over.
September 20th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
I don’t have any of my own kids, but I can offer up that when I was little, I had an imaginary friend. Not because I didn’t have enough play time, and not because my brother ignored me or my parents ignored me (none of my family did), but just because I was really imaginative and wanted to keep playing even when there was no one to play with other than myself. My way of doing that, I guess, was just to make someone up.
September 20th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
It is perfectly normal and even healthy for a child to have pretend friends. It helps them sort out their place in their world. Plus it helps him develop his creativity! Don’t worry about, he’s just being a happy normal little kid.
September 20th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
It’s just an imaginary friend. Be grateful his friend has a normal name like Thomas and not “Sassio” or “Laundry” like my kids had. Try explaining that one to the preschool teachers!
September 20th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
It’s totally normal, dude. And right on schedule, too. It has nothing to do with you being a bad mum or not playing with him enough/giving him enough socialization and everything to do with burgeoning imaginative skills, and a desire to be the power player in a relationship. It’s a good thing. Except that soon he’ll move into asking if he can have a “real” baby brother. Zen Baby has one in her tummy, since I’m being so unaccommodating about it.
September 20th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Relax Karen, breath!!! It’s normal. I had imaginary friends, and I’m perfectly fine - well, ok bad example. Anyways, its just a sign that he is going to be very creative
September 21st, 2007 at 12:09 am
This reminds me of a Homestarrunner cartoon about Little Brudder: http://www.hrwiki.org/images/4/4d/Lil_brudder_tshirt_border.PNG You can see the cartoon here: http://www.homestarrunner.com/toons.html
Herrrrlarious!
September 21st, 2007 at 3:13 am
Imagination is the best gift a child can have. I have always taught my children and grandchildren to pretend. This tells us your reading and playing with your children. We make up stories, and each tells his version of the purple monsters and trolls who live under bridges and high up in trees. They are wonderful times which stay with the kids all their lives. My daughter age 41 still remembers her play friends and what a great childhood she had.
Best of luck
Dorothy from grammmology
call your grandma
September 21st, 2007 at 6:33 am
It’s OK, he’s at the age when kids start to develop imaginary friends. It’s no big deal, and even thought to be good for development. Some are animals, some are other kids, some are monsters. In his case, he’s just decided his imaginary friend is a brother. It tells me that he places a high value on family.
September 21st, 2007 at 8:56 am
Heh, what everyone else said. It’s normal, don’t panic kiddo.
September 21st, 2007 at 1:54 pm
I think it’s kind of cute. But I think I’d react similarly. Dawson often talks about “Jane”. I don’t know who she is, but I when I aske him he says, “She’s ober der!” Either we have a ghost or he has an imaginary friend!
September 21st, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I am an only child and I spent HOURS in my bedroom working puzzles, playing with legos, Barbies, whatever TALKING to imaginary people. Not just one, but holding full conversations with MANY.
And I am, I’ve been told, relatively normal.
I would pretend to have an older brother b/c that’s what I wanted. He protected me from bullies and he always had time for me.
September 21st, 2007 at 2:07 pm
I thought that I read that a well-developed imagination is a sign of high intelligence. Seriously.
September 21st, 2007 at 2:41 pm
The first thing I thought of wasn’t that he had an imaginary friend. I think he wants to be just like his big brother. There are worse things than wanting a little brother to play with and be nice to and teach things.
When I was a kid I had a host of imaginary friends. I can’t even pronounce their names anymore, but it was a way for me to have fun when there was no one around.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:18 pm
My three year old niece has one that is named the same thing as her sister. And the “new, nice sissy” only shows up when her real sister is at school. I think as a second kid, they are so used to having someone to play with, that they invent someone, when they’re normal playmate isn’t there.
At 3 it’s normal. At 10…then you’d need to worry.
ps. I’m glad your break was short. Don’t let haters get you down.
September 21st, 2007 at 11:02 pm
i had imaginary parents. badumpbump.
i read all about this cuz i have one. no big deal unless the pretend one starts pulling off liquor store heists….
but! i would react the total same way. that’s why you’re a good mom. cuz hearing it from strangers is what it’s all about…
September 21st, 2007 at 11:03 pm
um, drinking myself. have one child. not one imaginary friend. nope, i have many imaginary friends. one child…
September 22nd, 2007 at 9:55 am
Princess has THREE little sisters. They are: Megan, Emily Ryle, and Tina. She plays with them a lot. It does break my heart a little. I know she is wanting a baby sister really bad and I have been trying for soooo longs, but oh well. She seems to be a content happy, funny, silly, child on the whole
September 23rd, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I still have imaginary friends
September 23rd, 2007 at 10:00 pm
My brother had a friend called Peter. It was always Peter’s fault when someone had done something bad. I always thought it was a sign of high intelligence and imagination if a kid has an imaginary friend.
September 25th, 2007 at 2:07 am
It’s fine to play along. Imaginary friends are fun to have around and like so many others have said, it’s a sign of an active and imaginative brain. Now if they start having imaginary sibling rivalry, then maybe you might want to break it up, but if they are playing nicely? Let em be!
I have an imaginary friend too. His name is Carlos and he sports giant palm fronds and he brings me sangria. Imaginary friends aren’t just for kids, but as we get older we just give em a different name…Fantasies.
October 1st, 2007 at 5:16 am
[...] Widdle Brudder [...]