But It’s A Good Refrain
October 19, 2007
For the last few days I’ve been going through the motions of being me, but I’m a better me for some reason and I know it’s too many Quad Venti Iced Sugar-Free Vanilla Non-Fat Lattes.? Oh, I’m kidding.? I wish Starbucks would change the name of that drink to Zero Calorie Punch In The Face - at least that is shorter.? Everytime I order it I mix up the words that are in it and the girl has to fix it in her head and regurgitate it back to me but I always have to say Quad Quad Quad so I get all my shots to the face.
So I’m listening to too much Regina Spektor (is that possible?? I think not.) and I’m weirdly happy and oddly connected.? This song and this song are particularly uplifting to me at the moment.? It’s like I’m riding the wave of me, whatever the fuck that means.? There’s nothing to be sad about, except that I miss Daren but the kids are showering me with love and sloppy kisses and tiny arms around my neck.? And I hold them a little longer, a little tighter these days.? I’ve always appreciated them so very much, but lately I look at them and watch them grow an inch or a crop of unexpected knowledge in front of my eyes and do the whole double-take thing.
In the last three days I’ve managed a bagel and a salad, and about 8 granola bars.? You know those Nature Valley Sweet & Salty ones with the peanut butter or the almond butter coating?? It’s all I want.? I know it isn’t enough but I am forcing the food as best I can.? Also?? Writing my own songs.? The kids love all the singing in the house right now.
I have this weird excitement going on in my body - a buzzing of sorts.? I know this probably not making any sense but I feel as though I’m standing on the edge of something enormous and wonderful and hopeful.? I love this feeling.
It’s perfect sobriety, it’s a cocoon of love and love and love, all around.? Nothing can touch this.
October 19th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Damn, Karen! Will you write me a song?
(And yes, this post makes perfect sense.)
October 19th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
“I have this weird excitement going on in my body - a buzzing of sorts.”
I get this.
Me too.
October 20th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Okay, I so need to get on the Quad Venti blah blah train, because whatever you are on, I want it.
October 20th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Don’t fight it, treasure the days or whatever your blessed with, this too will pass, and then bang…your up again, and you wonder when will the crape ever end….
So here’s hoping this peace will last a long time…a recharge for the other time, we all know will come.
Dorothy from grammology
call your grandma
October 20th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
I know that feeling, it’s one you want to grab onto and stuff in your pocket to pull out on those crappier days
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:30 am
Yay for happy feelings and fields of butterflies and rainbows!
I’m so happy you are happy!!! Seriously, a happy Karen is the best Karen out there!!
Sorry, I blame the pain killers for the loooooooopiness of this comment.
xoxo