I Actually Hit Send On This Email and They Will Think I’m Crazy
December 30, 2007
Dear Gym People,
I joined Major Gym Chain last summer and bought a 12 pack of trainer sessions at that time. I joined at the East Side location, used 6 sessions and then transferred my membership and my son’s daycare membership over to your North Side location (I think that was October). I still have 6 trainer sessions owed to me and called eleventy times (not really) to inquire but was told each time that East Side had yet to transfer my trainer sessions over to your North Side location.
My kids then both got the flu or SARS or Mad Cow Disease or something, and then Christmas took over and since Santa isn’t real I had to do EVERYTHING so I forgot all about you and the size of my gigantic hips (blah blah blah excuses blah) but now that the holidays are finally over, I’d really like to get going on my last 6 trainer sessions.
Hopefully by now East Side has sent my file over (I’m pretty sure mail by donkey would be faster) and I can get started again after Jan 1st because we are having a party for New Years and there’s no way I’m committing to you when there is baked brie and red wine to be had.
Please call me to schedule because the sweet baby Jesus and my mirror both know that I my ass is STILL fat and I need you to kick it! (Also? I’m sick and tired of my husband saying “When is the last time you went to the gym?”)
Thanks,
Karen Sugarpants
Phone: xxx-xxx-xxxx
p.s. Hopefully I didn’t ruin Santa for anyone over there. If so, my apologies.
December 30th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
Ha! We just joined our local community gym which is way nicer and cheaper than one of the big chains. Hope they sorted it out!
Assertagirl’s last blog post..Good bye to 2007.
December 30th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
That is friggin hilarious. If they don’t get a laugh out of that, then they are just a bunch of grinchy grinches!
Christy’s last blog post..Now Playing at The Tree House…
December 30th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
now THAT’s funny. hope someone with a sense of humor figures it out for you!
janet’s last blog post..Fun Monday #46: the funny joke edition
December 31st, 2007 at 1:11 am
haha! I love it. I hope you did ruin Santa for them. I’m seriously loving that email.
manda’s last blog post..Moving On Up?(Domain & such)
December 31st, 2007 at 8:33 am
Hilarious! I hope that they’ll have a good laugh and call you right back.
Mintea’s last blog post..2007: My Life In Retrospect
December 31st, 2007 at 12:48 pm
If that doesn’t get their attention and prompt them to call you then I don’t know what will.
Lisa’s last blog post..A Look At 2007?Award Style
December 31st, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Oh sweet Baby Jesus, that was funny! I would send something like that too just because…
Hilly’s last blog post..Happy New Year To All And To All A Safe Night!
January 1st, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I’m joining the gym soon. I want a six pack dammit! Anyway, for the new years I got a cold and the kid got it too. sucks. Oh well, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
mrsmogul’s last blog post..I almost stopped the posing
January 1st, 2008 at 5:12 pm
You are hysterical! Followed you here from Ree’s because I follow anyone from Ree’s who has the suffix “pants” on their name. Because I have a clinical aversion to dresses. That’s not the real reason, though I do so hate dresses. I just like people who end in pants because I end in pants.
Well, that made all sorts of sense didn’t it?
And hey, I live in Canada too! :^D So I feel ya on how living in Canada in the winter sometimes really sucks. Especially when you grew up in California.
Good luck at the gym!
nancypants’s last blog post..What is New Years for?
January 1st, 2008 at 9:20 pm
That is so funny!
January 1st, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Well hell’s bells woman. You officially rock. I somehow fell upon you through Twitter and you’re a riot. I shall have to return for more bloggity hysteria.
My foody body (muffin top, cottage cheese thighs, jello arms) feel you.
rachel’s last blog post..The Parenting Meme from Hell
January 2nd, 2008 at 12:05 am
How is it that I just found this blog? Did you invite me and I did one of my usual lame things and forgot to come over? Or do you hate me ever since I outed you on Flickr for having an affair with the Kaiser (joking, people. yeesh) and so you didn’t invite me even though I am so wonderful, important and influential? I mean, something is seriously wrong with the universe.
Suebob’s last blog post..Kind of a reverse polar bear
January 2nd, 2008 at 12:47 am
Hee, they have this one coming so don’t worry about it.
Me, I’m in for a chewing out when I go for torture–I mean physical therapy tomorrow.
Pand0raWilde’s last blog post..After Christmas SALE!
January 2nd, 2008 at 1:49 am
I want to know what they reply b/c that is freakin’ hilarious!
OMSH’s last blog post..The drink of choice to ring in the New Year.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 am
Oh. my. gosh. That is hilarious. Please let us know the reply.
Natalie’s last blog post..The Half and the No Fly
January 2nd, 2008 at 11:55 pm
I think that is possibly one of the most fabulous emails that I’ve ever read.
I wonder what their response will be?
January 4th, 2008 at 12:53 am
This is fabulous. Please keep us posted as to what their response will be.
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
Dorothy Stahlnecker’s last blog post..My New Years Resolution
January 12th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
best. e-mail. ever. For real. Did you get a reply?
Dana’s last blog post..Liveblogging the Packer Playoff Game
January 12th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
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