Dog Social Networking

January 18, 2008 SugarPets

Mylie FLIPPED when I played Dooce’s latest video so I grabbed the camera:

Next, they will have twitter accounts.

Customer Service? Um, no.

Sugarpants Herself!

Remember this letter to the gym? I think by then I was trying to get their attention without being a bitch about it. If I was witty, maybe they would remember me and fix the problem.

Well now I’m mad. I got a response from the gym FOUR DAYS after I sent the email. Granted, New Years was in there, but still. If I got that email when I got to work on January 2nd, I’d be responding right away, not January 3rd.

Whatever.

It was a one liner that told me they would fix it:

Hi Karen,

We definitely need to get you back on track! I will look into that for you and get back to asap.

Oh aweseome! I thought. I thought wrong. Here we are, TWO WEEKS later and NOTHING. Me thinks it’s time to get my money back. I wonder how their head office would feel if I told them? Well I didn’t. Oops - yes I did.  Just forwarded them the email string.

Now, I’m giving them no outs to do anything but give me my money back (why should I wait any longer?):

Please refund my final 6 trainers sessions TODAY. I have called 5-6 times and written this long email to explain — it’s obvious that you guys can’t get it together. I tried to be nice about it but it’s been 10 weeks or so since I first switched over to your location and it’s been TWO WEEKS since you emailed me to tell me you would fix it.
Mail me any necessary paperwork TODAY. I am NOT happy whatsoever with the service. I will keep my membership and be in when I can - but the trainer sessions are a huge disappointment.
I don’t want a phone call, I don’t want to come in to sign anything - fix it TODAY.

Too bitchy? Overzealous with the caps? Maybe - but COME ON. What am I supposed to do? Drop a weight on a twinkie’s head?

As I went over to their website, I noticed they have received an award for One of Canada’s 50 Best Managed Companies. Ha!

Have you ever been ignored by a big company so blatantly? Sheesh.

Canadian Knockout

January 17, 2008 SugarSpawn, Sugarpants Family

No, not me. Stop laughing.

I told you how Thomas has been boxing on the Wii lately? Well this morning we took a break from that to play on SuperWhy, a website that helped Erin’s young son learn to read.

In keeping with our learny day, as I made Thomas’ routine peanut butter sandwich for lunch, I was counting with him. I said one, he said two, so on to ten — at which time he threw his hands up in the air and yelled “KNOCKOUT!”

It was so cute I nearly ate him for lunch.

I then continued through eleven, twelve, thirteen…at which time he threw his hands up again and yelled, “POUTINE!”

Disgusting, isn’t it? They call it Canadian Comfort Food — I call it a heart attack congealing in Styrofoam. Gross.

Speaking of heart attacks, the home inspection went very well and thank you so much for wishing us luck. So far so good. Now, if the buyers just sell their house, we’ll be good to go!

Major Thing #2: The Little House That Could (Sell?)

January 16, 2008 Sugarpants Family

As some of you know, our house has been on and off the market since last August. Back in November we re-listed the house after firing our old real estate agent for being a pervert. Yes, really.

We went to Mexico a day or three after we listed the house, and let the real estate agents bring as many people through as they liked. As we were sipping mojitos in the pool bar, they held a few open houses and caravans, but there were no bites despite the house being listed a lot more reasonably dollar-wise than it had been with the previous agent. Yes, he was not only a pervert, he was a crappy real estate agent.

Christmas obviously put a dent in the number of people wanting to see the house (which really, was a relief), but come January, interest picked up again and finally we have interested buyers! There is currently a conditional offer on the house that is a solid one, but all hinges on if the buyers sell their house.

The home inspection is tonight and I’m having mild heart attacks all day worrying about it.

The thing about these buyers is that they want to move in the end of February. Their house has a 30 day close and subsequently they want our house FAST when theirs sells. Every day I pack a little more into boxes, and stack them neatly in the basement. Every day I panic about where we are going to live at the end of February which would be our closing date. Obviously we will have to rent a townhouse and we plan on doing that near Dylan’s school because the new house won’t be ready until summer (as long as everything with this house goes smoothly).

I really can’t set anything into motion because if their house doesn’t sell by February 8th (the deadline on the offer), we won’t have to move. Yet, anyway.

I’m also under the impression that this couple is quite um, meticulous. As they should be of course, it’s a huge investment. We’re provided full disclosure on everything so there are no surprises, but the age of the furnace is the biggest worry. Daren has prevented the death stabilized the health of the furnace 4-5 times with heavy petting and sweet talk the help of a friend in the business and we’re just hoping it holds out long enough for us to get the hell out of here.

We’ve picked the lot for the new house and we are looking at floor plans. I have dreams of main level laundry, a bigger kitchen and the dream neighbourhood. We also have enough in the budget to replace all our our furniture and buy me a used SUV. Hello Stepford, Goodbye Sickly Geriatric Furnace!

Honestly, we just want to get ON with our lives. We aren’t as stressed out as we were in the beginning - at least, we weren’t until this couple put an offer on the house. Now I keep imagining the home inspection going horribly wrong and they back out.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go scrub the inside of all my appliances for the 5th time and wipe down every surface in the house with pink glittery luck.

Video: The Bear and The Bumblebee

January 15, 2008 SugarPets

Ruffy is nearly 6, but in dog years, that’s like 342. She’s generally a bit of a bag, complete with a thyroid that needs a tune up and a disdain for reality t.v. Mylie has taken years off of Ruffy’s life. The first day was rather interesting, as Ruffy followed Mylie around with her nose up Mylie’s butt 97% of the time. The other 3% was spent growling at this new creature if it got too close to her food dish.

By day two, the pair were inseperable, but that wasn’t exactly Ruffy’s doing. She had enough butt sniffing and was pooped from not getting her 16 naps the day before. She acted like a bear who was busy hibernating and Mylie was very much a pest. Naturally, being a puppy and all, she wanted to play with the bear.

Mylie acts like a bumblebee, constantly circling Ruffy, trying to bite her paws and ears, yelping “play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with me play with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Finally, yesterday, Ruffy humoured Mylie by lifting her paw half-heartedly and in slow motion, and slumping it down on the little dog. Mylie loved it and flipped on her back for the 800th time to let Ruffy smell her butt. Good times.

There’s nothing in the world though, like chewing on your little sister’s head to show you how much you love her:

Dying From The Explosion of My Heart

January 12, 2008 Sugarpants Family

Holy Hannah Montana, you guys are all good guessers and one of you got all three guesses right! (I totally need to think of a prize for that person.)

The first of the 3 Major Things happening to the Sugarpants Family happened this afternoon.

Since November, we have been looking at getting an addition to the family. I’m proud to say that the male to female ratio in this house has been equalized. Ruffy and I were feeling a little outnumbered.

This was especially important to me, having lost my boys as Leafs fans, to my husband’s bribes. See, all my guys are Habs fans now. Dylan was brainwashed converted at 3 and I never had a shot with Thomas.

We’ve adopted a little girl.

She arrived this afternoon:

(more…)

I Triple Dog Dare You

January 10, 2008 SugarHubs, SugarSpawn, Sugarpants Herself!

So it’s de-lurking day or something and I’ve commented on several blogs who are participating but whatever.

I know who’s here for the most part…I invited all yo’ asses - say something! Entertain me, circus monkeys! (Oh I kid.)

Okay, let me help you. Gosh, do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?

There are 3 Major Things happening to the Sugarpants Family in the next little while.

• One is happening this Saturday.
• One is happening February 28th.
• One is happening July 25th.

I’ve canceled my trip to BlogHer (sorry Sarah!) and my trip to Texas (sorry George! Jenn! Penny! Ang! and Sassy!).

Daren’s been neutered so it isn’t that pesky pregnancy bullshit that’s been happening all over Hollywood as of late. GOD FORBID! I would have serious explaining to do if it was that!

Can you guess?

If you guys guess all 3, I’ll tell you EVERYTHING.

I can’t wait to hear your answers.

I Am a Paranoid Freak

January 9, 2008 SugarHubs, Sugarpants Herself!

I have irrational fears, SugarHubs tells me. I hold my kids hands in the grocery store and they are not allowed to walk even 2 feet away from me or the cart - ever. Apparently, I’m not alone in this. I have visions of my kids being scooped up by a mess of strangers and I look at every single person in public as a possible abductor.

Some of my fears are not so severe. They really are, well, rather ridiculous.

Case in point: I have had some lower back pain since about Friday and my appointment with the chiropractor isn’t until Wednesday afternoon. So I just deal - I know it’s just an adjustment I need after too much hunched-over-designs-time.

Last night I had the heating pad on my back while I sat in the recliner with the laptop but nothing was working.

So I took the heating pad with me to bed and since Daren was still awake, I said, “Make sure you turn this off when you come to bed, I don’t want to wake up on fire.”

He laughed.

“No seriously honey,” I explained. “It says not to sleep on this thing. You could burst into flames or something.”

He laughed again.

“I’m serious! Waking up engulfed in flames would really suck.”

He laughed yet again (and lived), “well maybe you should put it on low, you know, so your kidneys will be okay.”

“What?”

“Your kidneys. They might boil.”

I laughed, “Yeah and then I’d be a mess of kidney stew in your bed.”

“Ew,” he grimaced. “Kidney stew wife. Blech!”

“Well at least you’d have a hot lunch to take to work.”

“Yeah, if you don’t spontaneously combust.”

“Meh. That would be more like soup. Nite!”

This is an edit just for Gorillabuns:

Thomas “Tyson” Sugarpants

January 7, 2008 SugarSpawn

He shifts back and forth on his feet, like a dance, while swaying side to side. His back curves gently back as he weaves his upper body as far to the left as it will go, and then with the same agility to the right.

His feet hold this strong stance, this swift movement, as he punches into the air. The focus in his face is intense, his teeth biting down on his lower lip, eyes fixed.

His tiny frame shows such courage, such determination as his shoulders bob and his elbows snap outward in front of him, then in, hands up, guarding his face and then out like a shot and back again. It’s hard not to giggle.

His fists curl around the device and his strength is rewarded with his opponent slamming into the ground, falling into a few bumbly pieces.

He cheers as the man falls (”I kicked his BUTT MOM!”). He turns to me with his hands in the air as I smile, stifling giggles, the cord framing his joyous face.

He’s happy to have won, but it’s more than that.

He is 3 and a half years old.

He is a boxer.

Let’s hope he doesn’t bite anyone’s ear off, Nintendo.

Brain Food

January 5, 2008 Sugarpants Herself!

I love to read. When I get into a book, I’m lost until the very last page has been devoured and my brain is licking it’s fingers in a last ditch attempt to savour the deliciousness of a story. I long for dessert on many of the books I read.

The thing is, I’m out of the loop. WAY out of the loop. Sure I visit the bookstore but it’s overwhelming how many choices there are and I’m not one to waste money on a book. If I like an author, I read every single thing he/she’s ever written.

If you were going to recommend a novel (or novels) to your best friend, what would they be? My brain is hungry for a deep dish story with extra toppings.

Stuff I like? Drama, murder, mystery, suspense, stories where the women are intelligent and powerful.

Stuff I’m not keen on? Sci-Fi, space, aliens, and that gross bald, hunched over dude, Golum. Golum makes me want to throw up.

EDIT: Okay so I’m looking at this picture tonight and thinking: “OH MY GOD. People are going to think I posted this particular picture because of 2girls1cup, but it’s like 2cups1girl (DO NOT GOOGLE THIS - ASK ELIZABETH) and holy crap that back cup LOOKS like the crap from 2girls1cup (I’ve been told) and OH MY GOD I hope people don’t think I posted that on purpose.” Because dude. I couldn’t even watch it. Kentucky Gurl explained it on Avitable’s blog when he posted the link the video and I couldn’t watch it after that, just KNOWING what was going to happen. Not a chance.

Oh and one more thing. Is it weird that I watched all 5 episodes of My Fake Baby on YouTube tonight and CRIED over episode three? I’m not even PMSing.