It’s NEVER Enough, and Then You DIE
March 6, 2008
Hold on to your hats people, I’m PMSing fierce and I’m teetering between slight anger and sadness. So if you feel like listening to me whine, stick around. (And thanks in advance.)
Forgive the bullet points too, it’s a blog, not a freaking novel.
1. The people that were going to buy our house have backed out. Spring is coming. More showings, more stress, more tripping on my kids to keep things perfect in case we get called at the last minute. We have not been able to relax in our home since last August. Add to that the drop in the market and the fact that SugarHubs will not budge on price, despite the feedback from previous walkthroughs who did not offer to buy this house.
My PMS take:
We will live here forever, always have it on the market, always have people coming through, never relax, never realize our dream house and DIE HERE.
2. Work is busy and backed up like a pregnant woman. No matter how I try to find more time to work, there’s never enough time.
My PMS take: All my clients will email me tomorrow and tell me to ‘just forget it’ and they will tell all their friends I suck and I will never have play money again. Without play money, I won’t be able to pay my trainer and I will eat myself to DEATH.
3. Snow.
My PMS take: I’m so sick of the fucking snow. I want to fly up the clouds, grab them all by the scruff of their cloudy necks and yell at them to cut it the fuck out already. I’m DONE.
4. The gym. Daren and I had a fight about how he handles things while I’m at the gym (if I go in the evening, which sometimes is the only time I can co-ordinate with Homie G.) All I ask is that the kitchen is cleaned up after dinner. In his defense, he gets up for work at 6 and is in a physical job. I’m up at 6:30 and work here. After getting home at 9:30 p.m. from the gym, the last thing I want to do is dishes, thank you very much.
My PMS take: I’m being selfish by going to the gym and spending my time on me, instead of on my family. My children will forever resent this and end up hating me until I DIE.
4b. The gym, part deux. Some days I feel like I’m doing so well, and some days I feel like the weight is not coming off fast enough.
My PMS take: I hate how long this is taking. I know how fast I lost it (and gained it back) last year and although it wasn’t the right way, as it is now, it was faster and I’m an impatient bitch who is bloated and PMSing and I just want to be skinny dammit!
5. This is the worst one to admit. For the last 3 days, Thomas has played WAY too much time playing video games. When Dylan was little, I used to take him to the children’s museum, the playground, outside in the snow, we did crafts nearly every day, and I spent way more time on the floor playing with him than I do with Thomas. Yes, I’m a WAHM now and I was a working Mom then, so our time together back then was quality, not quantity. No excuse. I talked to SugarHubs about it and he pointed out that I used to do all these things with Dylan and that Thomas deserves the same.
My PMS take: I’m a shitty Mom and it makes me feel like DYING to admit it.*
* I know this isn’t true, but the fact is, I work too much on the computer and need to get Thomas out to experience more and although he knows his numbers and letters and is more than ready for school, he needs to spend more time playing with other kids, doing things with his hands (without buttons or batteries) and seeing the city.
Usually when I suck at life this badly, feel this overwhelmed, I make a list of things I need to do and tackle it the best I can, even delegating a bit to the kids (putting away laundry) or SugarHubs. Maybe I should make a point of doing that in the morning.
If you got this far, know that I love you and appreciate you reading Karen WhineyPants tonight. xo
March 6th, 2008 at 12:32 am
Awww SugarShorts, I love you and am sorry you are feeling so PMSy and having such a craptastic time with everything. I like that you are capable of separating your PMS thoughts from your regular ones cause I can’t do that. You’re a great person…you know it down deep, we all know it up top ;).
By the way, I have PMS too. Do you think we all blog-cycle together or what?
Hilly’s last blog post..Sometimes Some Fiction Makes Reality Go Down, In The Most Delightful Way
March 6th, 2008 at 12:37 am
Yes you suck. You are a horrible person and we all know it. I’m surprised that no one has said anything to you! You haven’t seen the petition going around the Internets to try and commit you to some kind of institution where you can get reprogrammed into an acceptable human being?
I kid, I kid. I love you and want to wander the streets of Chicago with you forever, sweating and laughing.
Suebob’s last blog post..I would not have voted for Tracy Flick, either
March 6th, 2008 at 1:16 am
I enjoyed reading this twice now. Something tells me that when your eyes get that mostly blue like that, you are one serious soul! My wife’s eyes change and it’s like a big warning flag that she’s in no mood for anything but a very narrow seriousness.
I hope you’re soon able to relax at home. #3: send it down here to Memphis - most would even pay you for it.
Somehow, reading your frustrations takes the edges off mine, and I thank you for that and sharing your writing talent.
I got here from your tweet.
Cheers!
Dave
Dave Barger’s last blog post..Hey,
I’m just wrapping…
March 6th, 2008 at 2:35 am
Sorry things feel so craptastic right now. If it makes you feel any better, you’re my mostest bestest designer. I mean, if I had a medal or something meaningful made of a medium-grade alloy, I’d certainly give it to you.
Karl’s last blog post..I’m Supposed to Write About Movies With Machine Gun Legs
March 6th, 2008 at 6:35 am
Expecting perfection of ourselves is self-defeating. And on top of that, beating ourselves up in the process of trying to be perfect is downright masochistic.
Cut yourself some slack. You have to be selfish because you deserve to be taken care of - even if you’re the only one doing it.
If going to the gym is what makes you happy that you are accomplishing something for yourself, for your own good, then do it.
If the dishes aren’t done, they’ll still be there tomorrow. Granted they’ll be a little crustier, but it’s not a big deal. Certainly not a big enough deal to expect SugarHubs to do them and when he doesn’t get pissed at him.
You have to realize that deep down you KNOW he’s not going to do them and that you depend on that because, after all, since you’re already beating yourself up about taking time for yourself, now you have the ammunition to beat him up as well! Share the love, um, rather share the feelings of unworthiness.
I hope that made sense. It’s 5:33 am and I’m only on my first cup of coffee!
Mattie’s last blog post..Male vs. Female Therapists
March 6th, 2008 at 8:29 am
Aww, hon, I’m sorry you’re feeling so down, but even you know it’s just the PMS talking, and not the truth.
Dishes always take a backseat for me unless we have no dishes left in the cabinet. As for the gym, you need time for yourself, and you deserve a little time away.
Thomas is a smart kid and you know he’ll do just fine in school - he’ll probably be the kid everyone wants to be friends with. And then they’ll come over and he’ll rock Guitar Hero and they’ll bow down to him. OK, maybe not, but children’s museums and playdates aren’t everything. Our generation didn’t have any of that, yet many of us turned out well.
You’re doing a good job, and things will get better. Now is not forever.
Christina’s last blog post..Occasionally I Have To Be A Student First
March 6th, 2008 at 8:34 am
I’m with Hilly - PMSing but not at all capable of sorting out my PMS feelings from the more rational ones.
Time to yourself, by the way, will make you a better mom, wife, worker, blah blah blah blah. But you know that.
Well, NEXT week you’ll know that.
((((HUGS))))
Miss Britt’s last blog post..Echoing Shelli’s Sentiments
March 6th, 2008 at 9:21 am
*hugs* That’s all I got for ya.
Thursday’s Child’s last blog post..Juxtaposition Two, Electric Boogaloo
March 6th, 2008 at 9:37 am
Totally can understand your (PMS) take on things - better out, than in! Feel better, soon.
Liz@thisfullhouse’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #7 - Go Slow, Tired Moms Ahead.
March 6th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Ugg. When it rains, it pisses doesn’t it? Sorry about the house (that one bullet was enough but oh my holy). On the kitchen - I support you 100%. But on Thomas? I know that your quality is way better than quantity - it’s a fact dammit. Feel better would ya? I know you are looking fantastic from the gym torture so stop being so hard on yourself! That’s an order.
motherbumper’s last blog post..somebody slap me
March 6th, 2008 at 10:47 am
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Every day, I feel like I fail a little more. The thing is, you really are doing the best you can for right that moment. And you’ll keep trying. But it will never be enough, and there has to be some sort of acceptance of that.. and I’m not helping am I? Oh forget it, we suck.
March 6th, 2008 at 11:25 am
First of all, LOOK at you in that photo-hello, GORGEOUS!
Secondly, you are a great Mom, not a shitty one. It’s a constant balance between making ourselves happy, making our spouse happy, making our children happy. All we can do is the best we can do, whatever that means. Big hugs, sweetie
Elizabeth’s last blog post..Seeing Spots
March 6th, 2008 at 11:58 am
1. So, so sorry about the house. That would be enough to send me into a downward spiral of oblivion.
2. You look AWESOMESUPERHOT.
3. Video games won’t kill him. You’re a good mom.
mamatulip’s last blog post..Oliver?s rhythm
March 6th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
PMS sucks.
Shannon’s last blog post..dear march
March 6th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Aww…honey, everyone gets overwhelmed. You aren’t a bad mother. You have two kids now, not just one. While they both deserve the same amount of attention, sometimes life gets in the way. I totally understand about the dishes. I hate them too. I even have a dishwasher and hate them with a passion. Although I hate laundry more. I can’t delegate. How do you do that?? I feel if I don’t do it, then it won’t get done or it will be wrong.
PMS SUCKS ASS!!!
april’s last blog post..Because I Am The Mom
March 6th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Fuck PMS.
You’re awesome, you can get through anything and you’re going to sell that fuckin’ house!!
I think people have already decided that I suck and no one wants designs from me anymore. Hahahaha! I’d LOVE to be backed up right now (then I’d have my beautiful Flamingo Pink laptop and all would be right with the world).
sam’s last blog post..Attention Span of a Three Year Old on Crack
March 6th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
How did you manage to make such a bad time, so darn humorous or does everyone love everyone else’s..tough times.
I’m praying your house will sell faster, cash and a quick closing..your right it sucks when you have to be ready for anyone who wants to invade your privacy.
The gym..its your future…don’t feel guilty do it. Exercise will prolong your life. Give you more energy and fight the dam pms…
Love your thoughts..keep sharing makes me feel human…and real when I go off the edges…
My best,
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your gram..she can help…
Dorothy Stahlnecker’s last blog post..Can this Marraige be Saved?
March 6th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
[...] That’s how you deal with stress right? [...]
March 6th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
I’ve had to step aside and make lists, too, to try to get myself back on track and out of th slump I’ve been in. Good luck with all you have going on! But I think most of it will be a lot more clear and seem a lot more doable after the PMS settles!
Devilish Southern Belle’s last blog post..I demand a recount!
March 7th, 2008 at 12:04 am
this. too. shall. pass.
hugs
janet’s last blog post..Carpools: can’t live with them, can’t dump them
March 7th, 2008 at 12:19 am
PMS sucks all the happiness from life. I hate PMS. Hopefully you’ll be feeling less overwhelmed soon! And good luck on your house!
March 7th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
If it’s any consolation…you look hot in your picture!
March 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
And just think….PMS gets worse as you get older!!!! LMAO!!!!
Your a damn good mom missy and don’t you forget it…..Thomas will be fine…you’ll be fine….all will be fine. I too did much more with Nick when he was little then I did with Jonas. But, if you want things in life, you must work to get them. It’s also easier when you have one child to entertain! I’m sure all mom’s that have more than one child feel this way.
Sorry to hear about the house.
March 8th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I know exactly how you feel!!! Our house has been for sale since last May. Hmmm, let me count the months… that would be 10 months. We are within 2 months of an ENTIRE YEAR of having our house for sale. Doing all the obsessive cleaning, yelling at the kids to pick up their sh*t, and having fits over realtors that say they are coming over then don’t showup.
And the exercising?! When the 7yr old begs me not to go to the gym & I go anyway, I feel like a scumbag mother that doesn’t care about her children. But really, I do care. So much that I have to go in order to get healthy.
As always, everything is worse when PMSing… it won’t be quite so bad in a week or two… until a week or two later & then it will all start again!
Thanks for sharing. =)
Desiree’s last blog post..I?m so impressed
March 8th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
PMS makes everything worse. If men suffered from it, there’d be a telethon and all kinds of fund-raiser walks for research into treatment. Bleh. Give me chocolate.
Daisy’s last blog post..What a difference a year makes
March 12th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
I think the snow alone could be blamed for any evil thoughts! ugh for the craptastic list - so, which works better, beer or vodka?
March 19th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I seriously, seriously know how you feel! I love your PMS take on things, as I just went through a bout of that myself. You are hilarious!
carrie’s last blog post..Orbit Baby and Petunia Pickle Bottom on Access Hollywood