Text Mmmmmessaging
March 7, 2008
The typewriter
A husband and wife decided they needed to use “code” to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter. One day the husband told his five year old daughter, “Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter”. The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, “Tell your daddy that he can’t type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter.” The child went back to tell her father what mommy said. A few days later the mom told the daughter, “Tell daddy that he can type that letter now.” The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, “Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.”
Text messaging tonight between me and SugarHubs…
I’ve told him, under no circumstances should he listen to me when I request my favorite candy, Peanut M&M’s. No matter the excuse, no matter what, he is not supposed to give in.
me: hope you come home soon with m&m’s.
him: I’m not supposed to cave and bring those to you.
me: no, you’re not. so don’t.
me (again): but we worked really hard today.
him: You will kill me in the morning if i cave.
me: nah. but i’ll hate myself. but i wannnnnt them.
him: You want me baby.
me: i told you the circumstances. the ribbon is red. the letter cannot be typed.
him: …radio silence…
We’ll see if he brings them…do you make your significant other promise to keep you from doing or eating things? Does he/she listen?
Update: He did NOT bring them. I am mopey now but will be happy in the morning about this.
March 7th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
I used to ask Doug to be my “diet manager”, which meant he would yell at me when I ate junk.
But then one day I had massive PMS and I flipped on the poor guy. I craved a greasy burger, so I got one and he made good on his promise to yell at me.
I screamed at him like a hyena in heat, “As Ronald McDonald is my witness, if you don’t shut up I’ll rip your tongue out with pliers!”
He refuses to “manage” or “coach” me to this day. I wonder why?
Dana’s last blog post..Toddler Swear Words
March 8th, 2008 at 7:55 am
The typewriter is hysterical. Do you guys really use that code too??
No, I don’t trust Jared to keep me from anything. Whenever I try all I have to do is ask and he caves. LOL
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March 8th, 2008 at 9:24 am
He always caves when I send mid-afternoon demands for treats because of the timing - mid PM is high time for cravings (of all kinds ;).
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March 8th, 2008 at 9:28 am
I stopped asking my husband because he always give in. I am going to tell the hubs about the typewriter code. Very Funny.
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March 8th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I’m not one for coaches–I need to pull the willpower out of my own (poshly-scented but extended-play) ass, and I get annoyed when others prompt me even after I’ve asked them to.
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March 8th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Um yes I do and he always caves.
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March 8th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Man, I’m a typaholic, apparently. Just didn’t know the right lingo.
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March 9th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
W-O-W.
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March 11th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
i always ask the husband to stop me from eating something…he’s really good at it, actually. he’ll say…”you so don’t need that. think about how much better you’ll look in your bikini!” and it worked. except now i’m back from my trip..and have no bikinis to fit into!
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