Ditching The X
Awwww yeah baby.
I finally said goodbye, sayonara, adios, cheerio, arrivederci, au revoir, auf wiedersehen, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and get the fuck outta here to my X.
I held on to my X for a LONG time. I clung to how my X my me feel, cozy, safe, covered.
I clung to my 2X and 1X during and after being pregnant with Thomas.
WELL NO MORE. Finally, after nearly 4 years, I have BROKEN FREE of my X:
(more…)
Posted by Karen Sugarpants @
10:08 pm |
OH MAN.
I’ve been walking for nearly two hours with Ruffy. It’s 11:28 p.m. here.
Mylie is gone. She got out of her collar when I walked her tonight and bolted. She is like a jackrabbit - fast as hell. She has no collar, nothing. I’m afraid she is gone for good.
She’s so little. I hope that someone kind finds her if she doesn’t come back.
Going to get in the car now. I hope she is okay.
UPDATE: It’s 2 a.m. She isn’t home. Will continue the search in the a.m. It’s futile to keep going alone tonight. I don’t feel safe being out there by myself.
UPDATE #2: It’s 11:30 Saturday night. We’re thinking there is a good chance that another family has her. She is such a sweet dog, I can only say hope that whoever found her is kind and patient. All avenues we tried today have led to dead ends.
Posted by Karen Sugarpants @
11:28 pm |
Muffintop Update
There are 24 days until the big marathon! I’m running about 6K at a time and tonight I ran about 35 minutes with minimal stops. It helped that Homie G was dragging me by my hair motivating me to keep running. Before we went running tonight, I attended her Core class which was a series of stations of different abs, obliques, butt, and glute exercises.
At the end of the class, Homie G and I had planned to run anyway so we downed a couple of homemade muffins I made today and went. I told her the class was too easy for me (!!!!) and that I wouldn’t go back. She was okay with that - she has just changed up my weight training routine (which is more intense) and I LOVE it. I can feel it working.
Before we started the new routine (2 weeks ago now), we took measurements. Unfortunately, I’ve lost the sheet of paper with the frigging target areas and where I’ve lost but the 1st round of measurements, you might remember, I had lost 5 inches. (a month ago)
Well add another 4 inches lost! Yay! I know that my waist went down 4 inches total since I started, but I cant remember the rest. That 4 inches measurement session was two weeks ago and I keep forgetting to blog it. Whoops.
The crappy thing that I’m trying not to worry about is that I lost 7 pounds, then gained back 5 (muscle maybe?) and just lost 6 again (in a week), for a total loss of 8 pounds. That isn’t very much even when you factor muscle weighing more than fat. So tomorrow I’m heading to the doctor to have my thyroid checked and see what else could be wrong. Because guys? I’m working my ass off here. It’s frustrating! I can see the difference in my clothes and my face and stuff but the scale is making me mental!
I have a food diary I maintain through Sparkpeople and when Homie G reviewed it 2 weeks ago, she thought I wasn’t eating enough. Especially on run days. She thinks I should be at 1100-1300 calories on weight training days and up to 2000 calories on running days. That REALLY freaks me out. That is so much food I can’t even fathom it. I struggle to get to 1200 calories every day. I’m just not hungry. I guess the confusing thing for my body is that I starved it for so long, it’s confused. So I’m trying to eat something healthy every 3 hours.
Thankfully, I’ve found some new people on Twitter (add me!) and some blogs that talk about fitness, running, weight loss and nutrition. Enjoy:
Nutrition:
Running:
Fitness:
Weight Loss:
Health:
We’ll see what the doctor says. I’m sure it’ll be more than a week before I get any tests back. Still, 9 inches and 8 pounds isn’t anything to sneeze at. It’s just taking SO long!
Posted by Karen Sugarpants @
11:44 pm |
Import
I’ve been importing posts from the old blogs so if things look weird, that’s why. At least I have all my archives back, as messy as they are. Some of those entries make me proud, others don’t. But it’s the history of this writer, and it’s all staying. As am I. I will keep writing. Thanks to everyone that emailed, commented and called over the last 48 hours, regarding this post.
xo
Posted by Karen Sugarpants @
3:35 pm |
Mixed Feelings
Last night I had a dream where I stepped out onto our front porch and I couldn’t see for smoke. White smoke was everywhere and I pushed my kids back into the house to protect them. I was terrified. But I stood there, watching it threaten our house.
Today, reflecting on that dream, I feel as though that threat is this site. I feel like I’m losing touch with my former attention-whore-bloggy-self, like I have said everything I’d like to say and that I’m just not willing to share any details anymore. The stunts I’m seeing on blogs to increase/maintain readership have me wondering what I’d have to do to keep going. Yes it was therapeutic and helpful through some difficult times, but now I feel like I have to do something huge to keep up with everyone else.
Honestly? I don’t care that much about this space anymore. Edit: Okay, that isn’t true. I do care. I just am finding it difficult and I was being overly whiny when I wrote this, this morning. Blogging for me isn’t working because I’m still wondering if these douchebags are reading.
I’m not sure I want to keep blogging. When I do force myself to write something (usually a link to somewhere else), it’s well, boring. On purpose. Because I don’t take any risks anymore.
I kind of want to update you on family life, on my fitness progress, on all kinds of things going on. But I feel the only way to keep blogging is to let you in. I haven’t been doing that.
Well guys, I’m not really comfortable with it anymore. While I am proud of how far I’ve come physically, emotionally and mentally, anything I write now will be braggy or lecture-like, and who wants to hear that? I keep thinking of Rockstar Mommy and how she quit blogging, and how freeing it must be. I’m leaning towards that.
I’m well on my way to being ready for that marathon relay. My kids and I are spending tons of time together. The writing gigs and design work are humming along at a sweet pace. I’m busy all the time. I’m grateful for the support I get from my best friend, my husband.
Life is good. I really don’t have any complaints.
Actually, that isn’t true. But anything I have to complain about is bigger than just our little Sugarpants World.
Like global warming, chemicals in food and everyday products, China, health care, education, government corruption at all levels, Darfur, women’s rights, cancer, and a million other things that are scary and big and hard to fix.
Wow, depressing eh?
I don’t want to hear “You can’t quit!” and other nonsense. I won’t share family photos here, can’t bring myself to offer up details about what the kids are up to without feeling like I’m exploiting my kids, and I really think my feeeeeelings on various things are gems I want to keep for myself. What’s left? YouTube videos and links to my columns?
YAWN.
Yeah I think I’ll at least take a break. At least until I figure out how to share funny, entertaining stories without putting my personal morals and family into the fray of attention whoring. Call me a snob, but I feel very protective of my family.
The number of times I’ve thought about shutting down this site far outweighs the number of times I’ve thought “I should blog this!” in the last couple of months. I’m sure many of you have felt that way too. I just feel like it’s all been done before and I don’t want to be in the circus any longer.
Posted by Karen Sugarpants @
10:09 am |
Where Oh Where Did Sarcastica Go?
It’s the question I’m getting emailed about all day. My cousin Jessica, a.k.a. Sarcastica has changed hosting with me from Swank to Bluehost. She was getting too traffic-ky for her own good and so we decided to go big or go home. The switch is happening tonight so hang tight and your favorite teenager will be back at her own domain in no time.
There could be a number of other reasons Jessica isn’t blogging though:
- she was abducted by aliens and is now being probed for brain matter (highly unlikely)
- Matt asked her to marry him and they’ve eloped (My Aunt just passed out)
- she ran away to be with her kind: the circus
- Avitable has kidnapped her and is hiding her under his bed (probable)
- she is drunk and passed out in a face full of cow pattie.
That last one might actually be possible. I’m no comedian, especially after a day of moving blogs so forgive me for the lame post about my not-so-lame cousin. Feel free to make up more excuses as to why Jessica is not blogging.
EDIT: turns out the domain transfer is taking way longer than anticipated. Jess should have her site back within the next 72 hours though. It’s a glitch with the hosting registrars fighting over her. Who can blame them? Look at that face!
Posted by Karen Sugarpants @
11:15 am |
Things I Should Feel More Grateful Than Guilty About
- Being able to run, lift weights, walk, bike and play softball;
- Having healthy kids;
- Having a husband who is my teammate, my soulmate, and keeps me wrapped in a loving relationship that I know is forever;
- Having a home - a warm, cozy home (it’s on the market, but it’s still our home);
- Being able to afford healthy food, a gym membership, a trainer, extracurricular activities for our family;
- Working at jobs that I love, jobs that allow me the opportunity to stay home with my kids;
- That my husband goes out to work every day and provides for our family - and that he comes home only to take care of things while I go to the gym most nights;
- That my boys are turning out to be people I am proud of - people of substance - people who go to bat for others and are sweet and kind.
There are a million things I am grateful for. SO. MANY. THINGS. And I’m not bragging here. Sometimes I step back and look at this busy life and revel in the beauty of what fortune we have.
Some of it is so simple. I’m thankful for the colour of my eyes, for the plants poking through the dirt in my gardens, for milk in the fridge and a full jar of peanut butter. I’m thankful my oldest stood up for a kid at school, that my youngest wrote T’s all last week and they actually look like T’s today because he’s learning to write with a marker. That both boys know to say please and thank you, and act like gentlemen and like circus monkeys when the times call for either.
I read your blogs or catch you on Twitter. I want so much for everyone to have less worry. I know there are some who worry about their child’s behaviours, about their own health, about the future and it’s uncertainty. I’ve read as some of you have shared painful things and was ever so grateful when I did the same and you lifted me up when I needed you.
Things are really good now, as you see. The Sugarpants Family is happy, healthy and safe. We have plans in place to build our dream home and we’re living a life that yes, we have worked hard for, but we do appreciate everything going on in our lives.
No, it’s not perfect, but damn near. Yet I have this nagging guilt in telling you all this. I kind of feel like an asshole. Because I know things aren’t perfect (or even close) for some of my blog friends. Oh how I wish that they were though.
Why do I feel so guilty for telling you that things are good? I had no problem dishing when things were bad. Weird how that is, eh?
Well there it all is. What are you grateful for? Do you feel guilty about any of it or am I just a freak of nature?
Posted by Karen Sugarpants @
3:27 am |
Married At Age 3
Thomas is in looooove with the little girl across the street. And why not? She’s adorable, sweet and makes him laugh. Her parents are friends of ours and even though Little B has three big brothers and a protective father, that doesn’t stop him from telling the world he is going to marry her, have babies with her, get a dog, and live in his room with his new family.
Nevermind that he’s 3 and a half. Nevermind that he wants to procreate in my house. He is determined to marry Little B and that is that.
Erm….
Last night we went to get the kids some clothes for my cousins’ wedding tomorrow, and Daren and I were debating what the kids should wear. We pulled into the Sears parking lot and Thomas piped up, “Can *I* come to the wedding?”
“Of course!” Daren and I chimed, “We’re all going to the wedding!”
“Yay!” Thomas yelled. He paused for a second once he jumped out of the car, then looked up at me.
“What about my wife?”
I laughed. “Your wife?”
“Yeah Little B and I are gonna have a wedding. Can she come to this wedding?”
“Uh buddy, the wedding is for Shanno and Salsa (what he called my cousin and her husband-to-be when he was 2), it’s not for you and Little B. You’re not old enough to get married yet.”
“Oh. Well when I am growed up I will marry her. And you can come.”
I took his hand and thanked him for the invitation to his future wedding. It was hard not to notice how big his hands already were. Didn’t I just have him like, yesterday?
Posted by Karen Sugarpants @
7:39 pm |
