Because This Site Would Not Be Complete If I Didn’t Show You My Breasts *updated*

May 11, 2007 Awards

UPDATE BELOW

Well you all know I’m a brunette, so that isn’t me.

Read on to find out where my breasts are being exposed!

******************

But first!

Manzini Fund Update, and I have a MISSION for you below whereby you can probably embarrass the shit outta me.

Thank you to whoever nominated this post for a Just Post Award. (Thank you Catherine!)

Thank you also to the astounding and talented Chris at Know It All Moms (and also from Serendipity Mine) for writing a lovely post (and OMG this even MORE lovely post too) directing more people here to help! You said it better than I ever could!

The Manzini Fund is on my mind all day, every day. I think about those mothers, who are urged to breastfeed their children, despite the risk of transmitting HIV. Can you even fathom making that kind of decision? The kids in the orphanage that Chris and Jenn are going to see, have lost their parents so very early. Chris and Jenn emailed me last night with the total so far and I broke down thinking about those kids, their moms and dads, and how much of an impact we can make on their lives.

Here’s the scoop from my Chris, who clearly thinks he is Jennster with the no capital letters thing. Hi Jenn! Aren’t you married yet? Ha ha…love you, wench! (man there are two Chris’ and two Jenns on this post. Anyone need a flowchart?)

Okay the update so far (drumroll please!):

there is no way in hell we would have ever come close to this amount without your help

you’re free to up the current total on your website, and i can always email you updates!

i know that preschool items are in need ( i’m trying to set aside a

few hundred for that)

i just found out today that the kids at the orphanage make bead

jewelery and clay jewelery (sculpey clay?) and sell it for profit for

the orphanage. This ‘Sculpy clay’ does not exist in Swaziland ( or in

south africa ), so they’ve requested that i bring some along .

i’ve got sporting items being donated.

i’ve got educational books / learning to read books on the way

Maybe $5 can buy hope. Maybe $5 can give them something they’ve never

had… something these kids didn’t even know existed…. Maybe $5 can

let them know that, half a world away, there is people that give a

shit about them… people they’ve never met… people they will never

meet… but regardless, they’ll learn that the world is not against

them. And maybe with that hope, and that memory that people in the

west that have everything they’d ever want are willing to give up some

of it for these kids, maybe they will decide that if the world is not

their enemy - they can stay in school rather than live on the street -

they can learn to read and write - they can learn basic nutrition -

they can learn about HIV/AIDS (although, they probably know more about

that than 99% of north americans ).

i don’t know what $5 will buy at the store in Manzini or Mbabane…

perhaps it’s 1 pair of shoes, or 10 books. Maybe it’s 100 rolls of

toilet paper. Or nutritious food.

i’ll get off my soap-box now

i wish i had a solid answer for you - but i won’t make shite up,

cause’ i really don’t know

current total $726.12 USD ( a special shout out to Drinda

in Vancouver for kicking in $100 Amr !! )!

You guys really are amazing. Please please please continue to spread the word, and let’s get that total as high as possible! Five bucks is all I am asking for, remember?

Five Bucks.

Donate here.

I love you guys.

Now here’s the part where you get to have your way with me. I’m trying to think up a dare I can videotape for you guys if we get over a certain amount. Think we can raise $10,000? I wonder.

What daring thing could I do, that would put $10,000 into Manzini?

The very same Chris that is going to Manzini, shaved his HEAD for the B.C. Children’s Hospital in March of this year! Here are the pictures to prove it:

BEFORE: (Isn’t he adorable? He is like a baby brother to me)

AFTER: (He raised $1200 doing this)

I could sing for you. Dance? Gimmie some ideas guys….what daring thing could I do, to make that total at LEAST $10K???

*cringing*

Show you my tits? Oh wait, I’m already doing that.

Watch the Queen of Spain’s blog, where, coming soon, myself and a lot of other women are baring our boobs! We want the anti-public-breastfeeding ignorant fucks to know: they are JUST TITS.

UPDATE: All Hail the TIT BRIGADE! (Obviously not safe for work)

Passion

April 12, 2007 Awards

Ali of Cheaper Than Therapy awarded me the Thinking Bloggers Award for my posts about this thing I’ve been going through. As I commented on her blog to thank her, I told her about talking to Y yesterday on IM’s and us both saying “I’m “FINE!”‘

Fancy.

You know when a woman says she fine like that, that she isn’t totally fine, right? Here’s the deal, people. I’m sick to death of the lectures from friends and family. So instead of talking about the problems, I’ve decided that now is simply not the time to have a breakdown, and so I have re-suppressed everything and will deal with it later. It sits like vomit on the back of my throat some days, and I know this isn’t the best way, but dammit, I don’t have time for it all right now.

I’m living marginally better than before. My day goes something like this (if you’re family, be prepared for sex talk or stop reading now - ack!):

- either get up at 4:30, or having been up the entire night before, make half a pot of coffee, while chugging a 12 ounce glass of water. Jump husband. Yes, nearly every morning. Sometimes twice. That poor man is so tired. Drink the coffee and contemplate yogurt, granola and fruit. Sometimes have said breakfast before 4 p.m. or so.

- get both kids off to school, and work. Swank is hopping right now and I can’t tell you how many clients I have. It’s slightly insane, but thank you to all the ones of late who were patient, understanding and amazing through my situation, and now Heather’s ordeal. You know who you are. Especially YOU. I want to cradle your face in my hands and kiss your forehead for all your patience.

- lunchtime requires me to get Thomas from pre-school. I’ve been forcing myself to take him as much as I can manage because I find the walking does me good.

- work until dinnertime while trying to entertain Thomas (I”m back and forth from the floor to the desk), another half pot of coffee, then make dinner, which I don’t usually touch, save for veggies.

- evenings are for the kids. Once they are in bed, naked yoga with husband, jump husband again. Then I work. Sometimes all night, sometimes just until 2 a.m.

Things I am eating:

- The yogurt, strawberries/blueberries, granola combo - once every other day or two;

- Greek Salad, no olives;

- Fish when I can get it;

- Apples;

- Strawberries in bed late at night, thank you Daren…

- Whatever veggies are made with dinner. No potatoes, no meat - I can’t stomach it.

- Every Monday is Thai Food night and I love it, and eat what I can;

- My only snack is about once a week and always makes my stomach feel horrible, I think because of the fiber, but it’s that new SmartPop, with Clubhouse’s White Cheddar powder stuff on top.

And in case you’re wondering, I haven’t felt better. I’m serious. I cancelled tomorrow’s doctor’s appointment. I know she doesn’t have the referral anyway, and I’m done talking about my demons right now. Not in every capacity, but I’m more comfortable writing about that stuff when the mood strikes, or talking with Daren and close friends. I’ve drowned them in a sea of amazing passion with my husband, and work, another passion. I can’t think of a better drug-free cure than this. Why would I want to drug this new, vibrant woman into a mind-numbing, unfeeling zombie? I know, I’m being selfish, that Daren deserves a little sleep, but I’m pretty sure he is okay with the situation the way it is.

In other news, Rachel and her daughters made me a beautiful silver, black and red necklace and 2 sets of matching earrings. My camera was left at Daren’s grandma’s on Easter Sunday, so I don’t have a picture, but she wrote a note explaining that the red beads were in 3’s to symbolize the love of Daren, Dylan and Thomas that surrounds me, and the butterflies are to remind me that I can emerge from this rotten experience, beautiful and peaceful. Rachel, the jewelry is absolutely lovely and as soon as I get my camera back, I’ll take pictures for teh internets to see. Thank you, from the bottom of my uplifted heart. You and the girls are so talented and thoughtful and kind and loving and amazing.

I haven’t been around to blogs much because of work and naked yoga, ha ha…so if you want to share something important, touching, funny, or you just miss me, leave me a note and I’ll be sure to come and visit in the next couple of days!

And for God’s sake, get that look off your face, I’m FINE!

And Guilt Begat Pride

February 6, 2007 Awards

EDIT: This post has been recognized by the lovely Mamatulip as a January Just Award. Thank you so much Katherine…Dylan is so proud of this recognition and I’m just as proud of him. What an amazing kid we’re raising! I received a lot of email after I first wrote this and I’ve opened comments in case anyone else wanted to say anything. Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you’ll let me know if you’ve been here!

A few days after Christmas, when we were still visiting my grandparents, Dylan asked me if, when we got home, there would be any more presents from Santa. I stared at him, in wonder. He had gotten exactly the “big gift” he wanted, an X-box, from us, which truthfully, he had earned over the last 10 months using a points-for-chores/good attitudes system. Santa filled his stocking and brought him the X-box steering wheel and a racing game. As his parents, we felt this was plenty. Besides, both sides of the family spoiled the kids rotten with clothes, books and toys too.I could not understand why he was asking me this and my mother-head gave me the mother-spin of mother-guilt.

Had I not taught him about appreciation?

Had I never explained about children who didn’t have what he has?

Had I never told him what my own childhood was like?

I explained that some families don’t get anything for Christmas. I talked about the importance of Christmas being all about spending time with family. I said all the good things good parents say.

And then I asked, “Will you do me a favour?”

“Sure,” he replied, looking at me with those big dark eyes.

“When we get home, I’d like you to pick 25 of your books. Books you think another little boy or girl would like. We are going to donate them to the Women’s Community House.” I explained what that was, and why kids would be there. I explained that our very good friend and her kids (his little friends) had to go there once, before they moved away from their Dad. That it happens to people we know. That the Women’s Community House is an amazing place, full of resources for families to sort out their problems, or to protect Moms and kids when they are in danger. It was a very candid, serious conversation.

It was a tough conversation to have. Very close to my heart.

He listened quietly and became visibly upset.

“This isn’t a punishment.”

“I know. I just wish no kids had to deal with that.”

“Me too sweetie,” I put my arm around him. “So you’ll do it?”

“Yes!” Clearly our talk had sunk in a little.

I didn’t know how far.

Friday morning, public schools were closed. We began by packing up those 25 books, which reminded me I had several pairs of jeans that my hips had come to reality about. Then I found sweaters too! Stylish ones that my boobs had decided were no longer a good fit for me. Heh. While I was packing up clothes, Dylan came to me and said, “Don’t get mad….”

I looked up from what I was doing.

“What happened?”

“Well, I hope you don’t mind, but I put my Playstation, the controllers and all those games in a box. I wrapped them really well. I don’t need two video game systems Mom. Those kids would probably rather play video games in that shelter. Maybe it would help keep their minds off the bad things in their lives.”

Oh.

My.

God.

“Of course you can donate that buddy!” I had tears in my eyes.

We packed up the car, dropped Thomas off at preschool, drove to the shelter, and went through the security door to the small lobby where the donation bin was. Dylan held the door for me while I piled everything in. We rang the buzzer and the lady at the desk looked up from behind the two separate bullet-proof glass barriers. Through the intercom, I told her there was a Playstation and all it’s games in the top box. I just didn’t want it to get broken.

When we got back into the car, he said, “That felt good, Mom.”

So I took him for pancakes and we talked, and laughed, and I just drank in the time with him, like a lazy, warm cup of tea.

We hit the grocery store after that, where Dylan insisted I buy a pot of flowers, but would not tell me why.

When we arrived at the preschool to pick up Thomas, Dylan handed the pot of flowers to our preschool teacher, and said, “Thank you for taking such good care of my little brother.”

Neither one of us ladies could hold the tears back. I told her what had transpired that morning, and we were a bit of a mess by the time other parents started arriving.

You would think that would be enough to make a mother proud, but this afternoon, after both the car and the furnace had broke on us, we arrived home to message from one of Dylan’s teachers:

“I just wanted to call and let you know…and thank Dylan, for all the volunteer work he has done around the classroom lately. I really appreciate it and he is doing a great job! Thanks for all your support Dylan!”

Wow. This parent-thing is pretty awesome. Especially when you can see results of heart-to-heart conversations.

Math

December 7, 2006 Awards

I’ve been selected as a finalist in the Weblog Awards. How neat is that? The polls are open but the competition is stiff! Every single one of the bloggers nominated are wonderful. So have fun making a choice:

My sweet, special, amazing husband Daren is a full-on, professional procrastinator. In his defense, he is currently in school for his 2nd of 3 sessions of college he has to take to get his apprenticeship. His brain is bursting at the seams and leaking gray matter out his ears these days.When the kids have gone to bed, I have to wear earphones and blast Cat Power and Fiest to tune him out while I’m working. He talks his way through some difficult problems and says things out loud to retain them. I tested him last week before an exam, and now I know that E=Voltage or Sensor. Obviously, because that makes a whole lotta sense. I also taught him sine, cosine and tangent. I used to let the boys from the rugby team cheat off of me in math class, so when Daren married me, he now knows it was fate, babycakes.Really though, can’t the guy take a break? Oh wait, he does. He naps at the drop of a dime. Anywhere. We’ll be sitting at the dinner table and mid-conversation his neck turns to rubber (insert sportcaster voice here) aaaaaaaaaand he’s OUTTA HERE! (more…)

The Elephant is Stomping It’s Way Out of the Bag

November 21, 2006 Awards

Thanks to Berklie for giving this entry a Perfect Post Award! I’m very flattered.

Okay so this definitely sums up how I feel about the blogging community right now. I want to buy the author some dinner and have a real conversation. These two points really hit on how I’m feeling:

The truth is that while the community is deeply, structurally flawed in ways so fundamental I’m not sure it can ever be repaired, I’ve found some really amazing, generous, intelligent, funny, warm people here.

and:

I’m also going to disengage myself from a lot of the less savoury aspects of the momosphere. For instance, blogrolling: did you know that blogroll is a pun on logroll, a political practice of greasing hands through reciprocal favours to pass legislation? Yeah. I mean, blogrolling has nothing to do with politics with that kind of etymology, does it? Clearly I am insane.

I’ve been meaning to write about this post for a while, but something kept stopping me. I know exactly what it was. The need to be accepted by everyone. The need to be a part of the “in crowd.” Do you know how fucking lame that sounds when you write that down? Shit, you’re reading it, so you know how lame it sounds. I don’t know what happened to me at BlogHer, but I left feeling like I had a bunch of new friends. Boy was I wrong. Me naive? Oh yes.

(more…)

Gotta Pull Myself Together

August 15, 2006 Awards

It seems I’m all over the place today:

Mommybloggers - The Praise:

Soon, I wanted to be KAREN RANI. I died my hair like her, bought the same clothes, and tried to get her to move into the Ansonia with me. You might want to keep stiletto heels away from me. ~ Mom 101

Mommybloggers - The Interview:

Well….I was naked. So his reaction to that is always favourable. Even since I had the kids and my body changed, he’s always been a fan of the nakedness. Crazy bugger.

Mommybloggers - As a Guest Blogger:

I say, “Why ain’t your chunky ass in bed yet, boy?” in my best Brit-Twit accent, “Now pass me mah Cheetos.” Dylan usually laughs, but he goes to bed.

AND MORE:

ParentHacks: losing weight and having fun, all the while tiring the kids out.

The Statesman: - a Mommybloggers feed from above - it’s kinda weird to have your picture in a Texan online newspaper, especially when you’re a nut from Canada, eh?

Back to normalcy tomorrow. Maybe.

“You Like Me! You Really Like Me!” Part Deux of Trois

August 14, 2006 Awards

My interview is up at Mommybloggers. Pee first, especially before you click over to the crab dance. Consider yourself warned.

“You Like Me! You Really Like Me!”

Awards

I knew all the partying at BlogHer would pay off. Check out Mommybloggers today, and I think my interview will be posted later on this afternoon. Now excuse me while I ice my head. The swelling is killing me.

Vote for Me!

July 22, 2006 Awards

I’ve been nominated in two catagories for the Really Fucking Stupid Blog Awards. Click the button to vote. Go now.